🌸 Little Anorexia Things 🌸 (TW!)

ethereal-daydream08:

invisibledecay:

daintyaly:

ethereal-daydream08:

💕 Laying in bed with your heart pounding in your temples, panicking because you feel like you’re going into cardiac arrest

💕 Obsessively buying and hoarding food that you never eat

💕 Huge fucking welts developing all over your body from minor bumps and scrapes. Like, freakishly large welts.

💕 The bones you wanted to see so badly? They dig into everything. It hurts to sit down anywhere, even on the toilet! It hurts to walk, because the bones in your feet can’t handle the impact. Crossing your legs will leave bruises.

💕 Being constipated. All the time 🙂

💕 You’re always cold. No matter how hot it is, no matter how many layers. It’s a kind of cold that stays in your bone marrow and never fucking leaves.

💕 Translucent, dead looking skin, with dark circles under your eyes that look like permanent bruises.

💕 Constant tremors!

💕 Nightmares about bingeing that leave you in tears, panicking because somehow you still think you absorbed calories.

💕 Even if you don’t dream because of sheer exhaustion, your sleep is still fucked.

💕 Ever present fatigue! You can’t think straight! Walking across the room tires you out!

💕 All the organ damage! Your stomach barely digests food anymore. Your heart feels weak. Your intestines stop working properly. You’ve killed off your thyroid with malnutrition, and yes, this can and does cause weight gain (although that is the least of your worries, I promise you).

💕 Thinking about food, that thing that causes you so much anxiety, ALL THE TIME.

💕 Friends slowly leaving, because you’re too caught up in the obsession to really have fun.

💕 Family slowly giving up on you, because you’ve been in this so long that even they can’t separate you from your disorder anymore.

💕 Sabotaging romantic relationships! Your real significant other is now your eating disorder.

💕 No sex drive! See also: too tired for sex. All the time.

💕 If you are in a relationship, you may struggle (or begin to struggle) with anxiety over being touched by your S.O.
If you think this doesn’t take its toll on even the strongest relationships, you’re wrong.

💕 You’re broke from spending all your cash on food (that you don’t eat), prescriptions (that you wouldn’t need if you didn’t have your disorder), diet pills, laxatives, stimulants, and other products (which you are physically or psychologically addicted to).

💕 No social life because you’re worried about calories and weight.

💕 Not going outside because you feel too fat, even though you are underweight.

💕 Wasting years of your life and youth

💕Inescapable shame 🙂

💕 Death (cliche, I know).
This CAN and *will* kill you. This is fucking dangerous. This is nothing to be proud of. I know people who have died from this. I have given myself permanent health problems from this. I have taken years off my life because of this illness. It is ugly. It is *boring*. It is hell.

Please seek help if you have or are developing an eating disorder. The sooner you catch it, the easier it will be to escape from it. Do not make the mistake of not taking this seriously. Do not make the mistake of thinking “well that won’t happen to me”.
It will.

I know it is the nature of the disorder to romanticize itself, but we need to scrape off the glamour that surrounds eating disorders, which only exists because of a lack of information. If one person reads this (or something like it) and thinks twice about diving in deeper, it should be celebrated. Our greatest weapon against EDs, and all mental illnesses, is awareness.

Fucking THANK YOU 👏🏻

Who do I ask for help?

If there are people you are close to that you trust, I would first recommend reaching out to them. Recovery is much easier when you are not alone. Eating disorders are characterized by isolation. Emotional support can make the initial steps of recovery much much easier.

Afterwards, or if there is nobody that you can/ would wish to confide in (which I can honestly relate to), it gets trickier because this has to cater specifically to you (also I am not a health care professional):

👉If you feel especially/imminently unsafe, call 911, or take appropriate immediate action.
👉If you are in immediate danger, go to the emergency room.
👉If your eating disorder and/or health require hospitalization, and you are able, research available inpatient programs, and check availability for admission, and proceed as you see fit.
👉If you are able, research therapists that specialize in eating disorders in your area that will be covered by insurance/other means.
👉 If you are able, research available outpatient programs in your area, and check admission availability.
👉If, for any reason, these resources are not options for you, see if there are any support groups nearby (think similar to NA, AA, SAA, NAMI, etc) that you could attend.
👉 If support groups are unavailable, find online support groups and message boards, and research recovery plans that may work for you.

Through online research, I’m sure there are many many other options out there, this is just a basic outline of examples.

I wish you all the best in the world!
Please stay safe.