anorarexia:

Wake the fuck up

My eating disorder didn’t start with me thinking: “I’m going to develop an eating disorder” and instantly skipping meals, restricting calories, and fasting. It’s not like that.

It started out with not being 100% happy with my weight. I knew I was skinny.

I thought: “I should stop eating junkfood and start eating healthy and exercise more.” I thought that I was just going on a diet. And in the beginning, I was just on a diet. Then I thought: “Maybe if I eat just a little less, the weight loss will speed up. But just a little, and i’ll eat normally when I hit my goal weight.”

And then I ate less. And less. And less.

And now I have an eating disorder.

I’ve seen so many fucking posts of people wanting to be come anorexic. To “try it out”

I’m going to break it down for those people.

This is not a fucking diet.

This is hell.

We live in hell.

Every fucking day constantly we fret over little shit we do.

We don’t just shop with friends anymore, we count how many fucking calories we burnt walking.

We eat a fucking apple and it’s like the end of the goddamn world for us.

We can’t have a normal family dinner anymore without almost flipping shit wondering how many calories we will have to burn at night.

And don’t fucking forget we burn those calories 2AM in the fucking morning silently crying wishing we could go back before this hell.

It is not a fucking lifestyle.

Nobody one day just thinks “oh I want a eating disorder”

That’s bullshit.

Stop thinking that eating disorders are just there one day.

Credit goes to @stopbeingsofatem for the beginning ♥️♥️