5711590:

missingcollarbones:

paperweights323:

thinliest:

Fun ED things that no one talks about

• Keeping your fingernails short so they don’t scratch the back of your throat
• Breakdowns in the shower
• Panicking at the thought of homemade meals
• Bad breath
• Dry mouth
• Brittle and discolored nails
• Hair loss
• Hair growth
• Nothing tastes good the second time
• Passing out
• Blurry vision
• Lightheadedness
• Weakness
• No energy
• Irritability
• As soon as you get done eating with friends/family, you plan on how to get rid of it
• Isolation
• Always being cold
• When it comes out your nose
• Planning ahead of time when you’re going to take laxatives
• Laxative addiction
• The bathroom is basically your second bedroom
• Food is just numbers
• Muscle aches from exercising too much
• Bingeing on everything in sight
• Binge/starve cycle
• Plateaus
• Crying after stepping on the scale
• Avoiding mirrors
• Hating shopping for clothes
• Cringing when people mention eating disorders
• “An apple? Too many calories. Let’s eat this entire pint of ice cream instead”
• When “just one” becomes too many
• Avoiding going to the doctor so they don’t mention your weight loss
• “You look great! How did you do it?” “Oh you know, just diet and exercise…”
• Scratchy throat
• Either no exercise or too much exercise
• Unrealistic body expectations
• Constantly feeling your bones, wishing they were visible
• Self esteem? Never heard of her

Feel free to add on~

• Wanting to sleep all day so you’re not tempted to eat
• Destroying relationships with so much deceit and lying
• Losing the trust of everyone, making you even more alone
• Trying to order at a drive thru/icecream shop/resturaunt with friends and having this giant pause while the waiter stares at you because you want to say “no thanks”
• Trying to seem normal but then punishing yourself for trying to eat like that
• Wanting to cut your curves off
• Checking every single window for a reflection because you’ve forgotten how you really look to others
• Being so consumed, you don’t hear anyone actually talking to you.
• Pretending to be normal while you multitask and count calories in your head
• Counting those calories over and over to make sure you didn’t forget anything/underestimate
• Burning hot showers for 30 minutes because you want to feel warm for once
• Dry skin, peels off no matter how much lotion
• Blurry vision, eyes can’t focus on anything anymore
• Going to the bathroom just to check your body
• Sitting with your feet slightly off the ground to make sure your thighs don’t squish
• Cringing during a hug/cuddling
• Wanting to be seen as bones but not wanting to be stopped for being too boney, but not knowing the line because you can’t see yourself/what’s actually healthy
• Forgetting any other reason to live/get up
• Begging to catch a stomach bug or flu
• Leg cramps at night
• Losing words for things while trying to write like you used to
• Being constantly angry at others for eating or even thinking of eating
• Feeling guilty for sitting instead of moving
• Would rather die than gain weight
• “i wonder if i get a big haircut i’ll lose weight?”
• How much of my weight is actually just poo?
• Needing advil but knowing it’ll destroy your empty stomach
• Not taking medication for other mental illness because weight gain is possible

• Stop taking your birth control because you know it makes you gain weight
• Spending hours in the supermarket pouring over every calorie in food only to leave with nothing
• Being relieved when your period stops because you don’t have to watch the scales go up when you get it
• Dark circles under your eyes all the time
• Sensitive teeth from starving/purging
• Hating your naturally skinny friends for being able to eat
• Obsessively examining any ounce of fat on your body
• Avoiding spending time with loved ones because you know there will be food there

• feeling like you don’t deserve to recover because you’re not at your lowest anymore

• picking at any little “flaw” that you find on your body, real or not

• the list of foods you allow yourself to eat becomes smaller and smaller

• wanting to tell people but fearing that they’ll think you’re absolutely insane

• you literally have no energy

• acid reflux becomes a constant

• your body retains anything and everything it can get leaving you painfully bloated after any meal

• crying cause all you want to do is eat

• your binges get larger and larger and your restriction becomes harder you want to die

• you’re killing yourself it’s painful and what’s it for?? to be skinny?? To have control??? You will never be enough it’s not worth it get our get help fuck it fuck this disease I’m so sick and tired of it I hate it so much it has ruined so much for me and yet I can’t let it go it’s destroying my mind body and soul it has a grip on me it’s suffocating and it’s making me want to die I have a life I want to live I want to be happy but I can’t even feed myself I hate my disorder I hate this I wish I could just be happy I wish I could no longer count I wish I could accept that the human body ISNT SUPPOSED TO LOOK SKELETAL ITS NOT NATURAL why can’t I be okay WHY MUST I BE SICK WHY WHY WHY HAVE I DONE THIS WHY CANT I STOP I HATE THIS I HATE THIS SO MUCH