Vent: trigger warning (self harm ann ED)

I feel like absolute shit. I’ve eaten wayy too much the past few days (1200+). I want to strave/restrict and cut so badly. I’m so done with being fat, with looking like this. I have dance and aths but no one sees my hips. Idek anymore, I feel so alone and tried and done. No one wants or needs me and i can see why. I’m just so done