Rant?¿ trigger warning

I want to cut my arms and thighs and just,,, not think about anything. I don’t feel good enough; grades aren’t good enough, not skinny enough, not good enough at anything, heck I don’t even feel like I’m “sick” enough or “bad” enough. I dont even feel like I hurt myself “bad” enough. I’m so fucking tried and done with this bullshit. I don’t want to say it but I’m hurting, and although it’s hurting me, I don’t want to hurt you. This is just how it is I guess, I’m hurting myself trying to protect you.