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Yes it doesn’t fit my blog theme but that 👏DOES 👏 NOT👏 MATTER👏! People need to know this! Mother, aunt, niece, daughter, sister, friend, girlfriend, transitioning, help them out and reblog!
Having Depression for years is so wild because you just kinda become?? Desensitized to your own suffering?? Like yeah I want to kill myself every day. Oh, oh yeah normal people don’t have that????? Oh shit I forgot
As a parent, you don’t get privacy until you are on your own. My house, my rules, my money, my decision.
Don’t like it?
Too bad.
I am the parent here. I’m not your friend. I’m your father.
Literally kids are not your prisoner??? There’s a difference between being protective and being controlling.
“You don’t get privacy until you’re an adult” like what the fuck. You’re one of those piece of shit parents that thinks taking away bedroom doors and making their kids hold sandwich board signs on busy roads is appropriate punishment aren’t you? Children and teens are still fucking people and still deserve respect. If you can’t even respect your child how do you expect to teach them to respect others?
The mindset parents have of “my house my rules / I bought you that phonecomputertabletetc so I can go through it” is a huge contributer to anxiety, depression, self harm, and suicide in kids and teens and if anyone is defending, condoning, or practicing that behavior I hope to god they get their kids taken away from them. Nobody deserves to grow up under an iron fist of emotional abuse.
So my dad took away my laptop because I wouldn’t give him the password. I wasn’t even allowed to type it in, he demanded to know the password to my personal computer because he thinks I’m “ doing things I’m not supposed to do. ” My sister is not, and never has been, held to the same standard when it came to passwords on her own phone etc. But my parents always suspect me of being “up to something” and will randomly ask to use my computer/ know the password, and when I say no, they get mad at me. In the past, they have taken away my devices and looked through them, which cased me a lot of anxiety and is part of the reason I don’t like it when people use my computer or go through the camera roll on my phone. Even as I type this, I’m being asked what I’m doing. If you think parents demanding to know the passwords to their child’s personal devices is a breach of privacy please reblog
My dad threatens to take my door away from me for having it closed. I’m a seventeen year old female, and he has threatened to take away my door.
when i was a teenager, i wasn’t allowed to have a cellphone, so my father would hand me a little bag of change and force me to call home from a payphone every single time i left somewhere and again when i arrived at the next place. that means if i went to the mall, i called when i got there. then if i wanted to go across the street to the Walmart i had to call and tell him so. then i had to call again when i got to the Walmart! if i had a bunch of stuff to do, i could go through the entire bag of change in one weekend – if i could even find enough payphones to call him from. his explanation for this lunacy was that he wanted to be able to find me anytime, anywhere. he also liked to randomly show up at my job to make sure i was there, and the first time i spent the night at my best friend’s after i got a car, he drove past the house no less than eight times, and called no less than four times. one of those calls was to ask where i was because my car wasn’t visible from the road – and when i explained the turnaround i was parked in was behind the house, he told me we’d “better not go anywhere or have friends over”. like, what the hell were we going to do? have a drunken orgy while my friend’s grandma was sitting in the next room? we ended up playing chess in the front parlor all night with all the lights on and the curtains open so he could see us if he drove by.
and what, exactly, did i do to deserve this? not a fucking thing. i didn’t drink, didn’t smoke, didn’t sneak out, didn’t do drugs, didn’t skip school, nothing. in 13 years of public school, i had one detention – for being late too many times. that’s it. i never did a single thing to make him think i was untrustworthy and i got stalked for it.
when i graduated high school, my father told me if i was going to go to art college on his dime, he was going to have a say in the classes i took and what i did with my free time – he even went so far as to tell me if he ever dropped by the campus, i’d better be in my dorm doing homework or in class, and if i got a grade he didn’t like, he was going to pull me out of school, bring me home, and basically keep me a prisoner with no phone, no tv, no visits with friends until i graduated from the local community college. faced with another four years of stalking and abuse, i moved out and worked in a factory until i could be considered an independent student, then went to the art college i’d always wanted to – on my terms.
my father died last May and i hadn’t talked to him for a year, hadn’t seen him for two, and before that i hadn’t had any communication with him at all forfour.
the moral of the story for you “my house, my rules, you don’t get any rights” parents is: stop treating your children like shit or you’re going to die alone, and you’ll deserve it.
My father didn’t do it to this extreme but he listened in on my calls, he constantly accused me of having sex or doing pot.
Guess what parents?
Most kids that got constantly accused of bullshit that I KNEW? INCLUDING MYSELF? Ended up doing those things because “Fuck it, might as well if they’re not going to believe me!”
For me, I had sex way before I planned to (19. I was planning on waiting til marriage). Why? Because fuck it, he acted like I was trying to be a whore all the damn time, I was going to do whatever I damn well pleased.
I moved out at age 19. I have never moved back in. I barely talk to him. I talk almost exclusively to my mom.
When I moved out he said I’d be pregnant by the end of the year.
I’m 30. I have no kids. I don’t plan on having kids. Ever. Because I watched every other person in my family have kids when they couldn’t afford them and I’m not doing that to a child.
When I lived with my parents I had nearly all A’s, I had an 8pm curfew at the age of 19, I was never allowed to leave town, leave state, anything like that for school trips or what have you. When I was in college I wasn’t allowed to go to any colleges more than 30 minutes away. My parents didn’t trust others and they instilled that in me and it took me YEARS to fix it.
My therapist pinned down exactly what that does to it a kid too. It’s isolating. You’re isolating your kid. You’re telling them you don’t trust them. You’re telling them you inherently think they’re bad.
And that has huge ramifications on your bond with them.
Hope you’re ready for it.
Dear Parents who approve of the lack of privacy until a certain age: You are engaging in child abuse. Emotional child abuse.
Preventing a child from having privacy is a punishable offense in the United States (many countries actually) and you can be penalized for it.
What is that?
Rejecting or ignoring: telling a child he or she is unwanted or unloved, showing little interest in child, not initiating or returning affection, not listening to the child, not validating the child’s feelings, breaking promises, cutting child off in conversation
Shaming or humiliating: calling a child names, criticizing, belittling, demeaning, berating, mocking, using language or taking action that takes aim at child’s feelings of self-worth
Terrorizing: accusing, blaming, insulting, punishing with or threatening abandonment, harm or death, setting a child up for failure, manipulating, taking advantage of a child’s weakness or reliance on adults, slandering; screaming; yelling
Isolating: keeping child from peers and positive activities, confining child to small area, forbidding play or other stimulating experiences
Corrupting: engaging child in criminal acts, telling lies to justify actions or ideas, encouraging misbehavior
If you are an abusive parent, you probably have one of these (if not all) of these red flags:
Routinely ignores, criticizes, yells at or blames child
Plays favorites with one sibling over another
Poor anger management or emotional self-regulation
Stormy relationships with other adults, disrespect for authority
History of violence or abuse
Untreated mental illness, alcoholism or substance abuse
Children who suffer from your abuse, experience these emotional and behavioral issues:
Habits like sucking, biting, rocking
Learning disabilities and developmental delays
Overly compliant or defensive
Extreme emotions, aggression, withdrawal
Anxieties, phobias, sleep disorders
Destructive or anti-social behaviors (violence, cruelty, vandalism, stealing, cheating, lying)
Behavior that is inappropriate for age (too adult, too infantile)
Suicidal thoughts and behaviors
In summary, there is no “my house, my rules”. If you actively promote this type of behavior as parents, you are committing a crime, and you can be fined and imprisoned for it, as well as having your kids taken away, which, if they are experiencing this behavior from you, shouldn’t be your kids to begin with.
Children are not your property, regardless of relation.
If you want to guarantee your children never consider you a part of their life or interact with you ever again, continuing these behaviors will absolutely do that.
As someone who has a support group of nearly 80 kids ranging from the ages of 14 to 27, I can tell you so many horror stories of parental abuse and the shit it fucks up the kids with as a result. My wife experienced and survived her own form of parental abuse, as have I.
We do not tolerate it, and neither should your kids.
I am so very thankful I had reasonable, understanding parents.
Literally all you’re doing with this shit is making ABSOLUTELY DAMNED SURE that, when your child eventually has a problem they could use your help with, they will do everything in their power to keep you from finding out. You’re destroying their trust in you.
My mom made a Tumblr so she could follow me and monitor what I posted. She refused to tell me her url because she was concerned I would block her. That isn’t being a concerned parent. That’s STALKING. If it had been anyone else, it would have been called STALKING and I would have blocked the person who did it. No one gets special treatment just because they had unprotected sex, intentional or otherwise.
can i just say how damning it is to hear “i’m not your friend; i’m your father”
parents can sometimes be the very best friends you have
it’s just so heartbreaking
The sad part it, even if you’d tell them to stop. You will either A, have everything taken away from you and constantly monitored. And B, kicked out onto the streets or shoved off to some other family member.
There’s nothing we can do unless we speak out to a person who would most likely bring in legal laws and also possibly get put somewhere else…
I’d sadly rather deal with my abuse than go through all of that shit…
Please don’t ignore this..
My parents broke all of the charging ports in my room and once took away my door because they didn’t want me to close it. Idk. Maybe it was for my own good. Maybe they had my best interests at heart. But now, there’s nobody else I’m more introverted towards than my family. I fear speaking to them, interacting with them is awkward, and I never tell them anything private. I hate this mindset, that just because you’re someone’s child, your life belongs to them. It’s especially prevalent in Asian communities. Particularly Chinese families. We’re taught to, no matter what, respect elders no matter what they do. And that filial piety is of utmost importance. ‘Spare the rod, spoil the child’, and such endless, incessant garbage. Pain and fear is not a viable way to raise a child. Compassion and understanding is.
So I live with my dad and my grandma and they didn’t do this to the extreme but they have still messed me up a lot.
So I am not allowed ANY social media which is honestly insane to me ( I have them all except Facebook but whatevs) my family will constantly search for me so I can never use my name as I have a really unique name. Anyways I was dumb enough as a 11 year old to use my full name on Facebook and when my dad found out he literally threatened to DISOWN me. An 11 year old with NO other family because I had a FACEBOOK ACCOUNT. Yeah. still don’t have Facebook.
He also threatens to take my computer and phone to someone to get my google history checked. Like I’m dumb something bad. I can’t even take selfies without getting in trouble.
My grandma and him also always blame me for everything. I remember once my dad couldn’t open his car window and the first thing he said is “what did you do, I told you not to fucking touch it”. I literally did nothing. And they are always yelling at me and if I am ever angry because they did something they really shouldn’t have they ALWAYS say “look at yourself first” and get angry at me because I’m angry at them for doing something wrong. Like, first of all, FUCK you.
They also threaten to take my door away and don’t knock when they walk into my room even if I yell stop or no or something. Even if they knock and I say don’t come in they will still come in. My dad knocks now because the amount of times his walked in on me in my literal underwear or less…. but he still walks in if I say not to.
They will also constantly walk into my room to check what I am doing.
I could never keep a diary as a kid because they would read it and get angry or make fun of me. I remember when I was really upset I drew a picture of a SNOWMAN with an angry face labelled ‘dad’ and just expressed how I felt and BOI did I get it for that one. I was 7-8 at the time. Still to this day I will not keep a diary.
I also went through this faze of hiding food that I didn’t eat at lunch in my room because if I came home with even a single fucking carrot stick left my grandma would be so angry. Keep in mind she packed me enough food to feed me for two days (I’m not kidding) so she will constantly look through my things. Another example is when my dad left me money on my desk for something and when I got home she asked me what is was for, however I didn’t realise she had said the SPECIFIC amount. Which means she fricken counted it.
Also. When I was a kid I always wanted long hair but she would literally emotionally manipulate me into getting it cut short ( she would get mad, ignore me, or just plain insult me) I have longer hair now and she still does this. I also really want to die my hair and she has threatened to cut it off in mY SLEEp.
Also ( I know it’s a lot of also’s) , I am literally not allowed to like boys. I am a 16 year old girl who has had many crushes since about year 1. I have not mentioned a single one of them. Yet they still accuse me of being a slut. I have still never had a boyfriend because of the fact they have kept me away from any kind of contact I can’t even FUCKING TALK TO THEM WITHOUT HAVING A PANIC ATTACK. I’m also obsessed with the show called lucifer and the main actor is HOTTER THAN HELL 😉 (Tom Ellis if your reading this I love you) anyways my dad started joking around about me loving him and that he was my boyfriend and the first time I just didn’t know how to respond, the second time after he said it and left I cried having a literal panic attack, and the third time I lost my nuts and yelled at him cause I couldn’t take it. One time I was watching male youtubers (Dan and Phil heyo) and he walked into my room, looked at my screen and told me “I shouldn’t be watching stuff like this”
My grandma also always looks me up and down and makes a rude comment regarding the way I look when I get dressed. It makes me feel so shitty. And if I don’t like a jacket she buys me then she goes OFF. She also used to compare me and my cousins weight together as CHILDREN to see who was fatter/ heavier/ who had a bigger but (not in a good way) and we both developed disordered eating. She aslo always comments on how short my stuff is. I wore short shorts on a really long drive to another state and the last thing she said to me was “yeah, those shorts short enough for you” and pretty much called me a slut. I was also told not to wear shorts IN SUMMER because their are MEN IN THE HOUSE. I recently got a shorter skirt for school (just above my knees) and I feel so much better and my grandma was like I thought you didn’t sleep around with all the boys in your school but I guess I was wrong.
I even stopped telling her when I got my period about 3 cycles in because she would make horrible comments about my mood, or attitude when I had done nothing. It’s been 4 years….
She also will not tell me she loves me, like I will be leaving for school or be on her phone and will say bye, love you and she will say hoodbye and close the door or hang up. YOU SHOULD NOT MAKE TOUR KID FEEL AS THOUGH YOU DO NOT LOVE THEM. I even complained about this to my friends and now sometimes when I’m on the phone they will ask if she said it. The answer is usually no…..
I can’t even cry in front of them without being labelled as hysterical.
Keep in mind ALL of this is unprovoked and this isn’t even half of it. Ahhh
This has honestly messed me up so much and I didn’t realise it fully until now. Like I have so much trouble expressing emotion, trusting others, even looking at guys and it honestly haunts me. I have no confidence, at all, and the effect of this is so devastating. I just wish I had someone who I could talk to instead of getting yelled at.
Sorry for the long rant y’all but just witness the devastating effects of this.
R.I.P. The 2976 American people that lost their lives on 9/11 and R.I.P. the 48,644 Afghan and 1,690,903 Iraqi and 35000 Pakistani people that paid the ultimate price for a crime they did not commit
I just weighed myself and I’m down to 123 pounds (8st 11). SO THAT MEANS I LOST 10 POUNDS IN ABOUT 3 DAYS!!!
It might just be water weight but it’s still a loss you don’t understand how happy I am. My scales show weight in stone and pounds and that’s the first time I’ve seen 8 in the stone column
pain-lies-inside 