Vent💘 (self harm)

DATE: 24/02/2019

I really want to self harm so bad right now. I just, really feel the need to ruin my body and “paint red lines with silver brushes”. I’m so tired and done. Bottling everything is making me fall apart and shatter

Stay safe everyone, feel free to message me anytime💘

Vent💘(ED & selfharm)

I’m falling apart: school grades are okay? I think? Classes are so tiring and I’m so done with the people in them. I just want to be alone. I’m slowly losing interest in friends, I just want to take a break and be alone. I’ve been eating too much lately but it’s okay, I’ve actually lost (0.3kg) so that’s good. I’m tried all the damn time, I just wanna sleep for like, 2 weeks. I’m getting back on track, hoping to take more dance on so thats good. I feel I can’t say anything to my friends so I guess it’s another classic case of bottling shit up

Thanks you guys, we may not interact that much but I really appreciate all of you💘💘

💘Stay safe: my asks/pm are always open💘

starving-is-success:

If you don’t have an eating disorder and you’re going through my blog, please read this

Block me. Exit the tumblr app. And never come back. I’m serious.

You might have accidentally stumbled upon my blog. You might be wondering what it’s all about. If you’re in a position in life where you’re struggling with food or weight or something else, you might even think of giving it a go.

Don’t.

This is not what you want. Trust me. I’m here because I don’t have a choice. I’m sick. My brain is festering with unhealthy thoughts about food and weight and it’s been this way for almost 6 years and it’s so, so hard to escape.

I didn’t choose this. I didn’t want this.

But you? You have a choice. Walk away now and spare yourself a lifetime of misery and pain and suffering.

It’s not as good or easy as it looks. For every pound lost, you’ll lose a day of your life you could’ve spent on something valuable and productive. For every bone that peeks out, you lose a year of your life you could’ve spent living healthily. For every compliment, every look you get from a stranger, you lose a friend who just can’t put up with your destructive ways anymore.

So if you don’t have an eating disorder, if you don’t have an unhealthy obsession with food and your weight, if you’ve just happen to come across my blog, and you think this is something you want to try.

I’m begging you. Block me, exit the tumblr app, and never come back.

Because this is not something you want for yourself. This is not something I’d wish on anyone.

Do not go down the path of developing an ED because of me or my blog, I won’t be able to live with that kind of blood on my hands.

Vent: trigger warning (self harm ann ED)

I feel like absolute shit. I’ve eaten wayy too much the past few days (1200+). I want to strave/restrict and cut so badly. I’m so done with being fat, with looking like this. I have dance and aths but no one sees my hips. Idek anymore, I feel so alone and tried and done. No one wants or needs me and i can see why. I’m just so done

Food diary : 09022019

Limit is 900

Breakfast: 197

Serving baked beans(120)

Piece of wholegrain toast (77)

Lunch: 289

2 pieces of white toast (143)

Serving mild chicken pieces (96)

12g cheese (from block) (50)

Snack: 560

Sultana and apricot serving (118)

Yogurt honeycomb muesli bar (124)

Sour cream and onion 7biscuits (125)

Piece of white bread (71)

Tablespoon peanut butter (122)

Dinner: 500+

Spaghetti bolognese (500+)

Total: 1400+

NOTES:

• wayyy too muchhh,, jesus christ I need to eat less

• gotta get back to restricting

CW: 55kg ish