Rant?¿ trigger warning

I want to cut my arms and thighs and just,,, not think about anything. I don’t feel good enough; grades aren’t good enough, not skinny enough, not good enough at anything, heck I don’t even feel like I’m “sick” enough or “bad” enough. I dont even feel like I hurt myself “bad” enough. I’m so fucking tried and done with this bullshit. I don’t want to say it but I’m hurting, and although it’s hurting me, I don’t want to hurt you. This is just how it is I guess, I’m hurting myself trying to protect you.

yourtinydreams:

lucky day

I lost 6kgs / 13lbs in 7 days. I went from 61.3kg to my goal weight 55kg. I am so happy. I’m putting the energy of losing a lot of weight in one week in this post. For the same luck, and success all you need to do is BELIEVE and Reblog. I know it sounds funny, but I’ve been rebloging these kinds of spell posts and it fucking works?

making a new plan🌻

making a plan tomorrow, been wayy off track. probs gonna make tomorrow a liquid fast day,,, if anyone has any exercise/diet plan or tips they wanna share, I’m all ears☺

Date: 11/04/2019

myblissfulsuicide:

phxndom:

the-grace-of-cas:

sonianeverland:

hey

hey friend

dont kill yourself tonight ok

you have a really pretty smile and i know its not always easy to manage one but itd be a bummer if we never had the chance to see it ever again

youre really important and you matter a lot so stay safe and try and have a nice sleep

I would like a moment to thank the people who reblog post like this so that it eventually shows on my dash.

It is keeping me alive

I actually really needed this tonight, thank you

You’re a wonderful being and I hope to God you make it through the pain you’re going though. You deserve so much more.

Update?💘

DATE: 30/03/2019

Heya guys! It’s been a while since I last updated. I’m not doing so good atm, kinda falling apart but I’m coping so that’s good. I have a boyfriend now (been dating 2 and a bit months) and that’s going good 🙂 Still tired all the time and I’m seriously off track,,, I’m gonna make a plan this weekend and then back on top of everything.

STAT SAFE💕 FEEL FREE TO MESSAGE ME IF YOU NEED TO CHAT💕💕

skinnywhendreaming:

My favorite Ana poem

*This is not my poem, if you know who owns it, I’ll be glad to give them credit*

I was 176
When the high school health department
called my mother and said my weight was approaching dangerous waters
And hence the sugar liquids
that flooded my shelves 
wiped out themselves
but what couldn’t be washed away 
was my will to health

I was 160
When I maxed out my gym membership 
I had dates with the treadmill more than my trainer had arranged
I logged in kale, wheat wraps and 1400 calories max
I was happy that putting on jeans weren’t as burdensome anymore

I was 140
When I officially announced to my family that I could give away my old jeans
I could now shop at F21 and Urban Outfitters
I didn’t feel so out of place in school anymore

I was 135
When Cheerleader Clarissa asked me how I did it
I said Burpees and Boiled chicken breast
Daniel, the cute one, asked me to text him the homework after school
I remember my first time running 5 miles and having nothing but water that day
When I got invited to the pool party

I was 130
And I was 130 for a very long time
I ran, jogged, sprinted and cried
but the number still would not go down

I was 122
When chew n spit became my anthem
And my face got way too close to toilets
My face paled my stomach grumbled
But my thigh gap and bikini bridge for the summer couldn’t wait;
appetite could

I was 115
When Daniel ignored me in the hallways
“Maybe if I lost another 10 pound he would start talking to me again”
Some days I chewed gum for hours
And when the clock strikes 3 in the morning, when I cannot take it anymore, I binge on three kit Kats and then try to get the devil out of me with a toothbrush.

I was 103
When I fainted during morning assembly
I heard Cheerleader Carrisa snicker before I blacked out
She’s still weird and ugly
There could only be one reason 
why I was still far from beautiful
My appetite was still too big
3 digits are 3 digits too big

I was 96
When the high school health department
called my mother and said my weight was approaching dangerous waters
And hence the sugar liquids
that used to flood my shelves 
rearranged themselves back in line
but what couldn’t be washed away 
was my will out of health