♾eh update? + plan♾

So dance is starting up again, school starts in a week and dinner dance is just under a month away. Been in a bad depressive episode so time to get my shit together 🙂

Plan:

Hygiene:

•Brush teeth morning and night

•Shower at least every two days

•Brush hair every day

•Wash hair once week

•Clean clothes each day

School:

•Keep update to date

•2 hours homework each night minimum

•Average B+’s or A’s

•Keep record book organised

•Nothing from canteen except fruit

Home:

•Be respectful/co-operate with family (no agreements)

•Keep room reasonably clean

•Homework at desk not on bed

•Help out with chores / farm work

Food/Drink:

•2L water each day

•Max 1000 weekdays

•Max 1200 weekends

•Diet coke and real fruit juices only

•80% healthy, 20% unhealthy

Exercise:

•Home workout each day

•Stretch 10-20 mins each day

•2km run daily (except Tuesday and Wednesday)

•Put 100% into every dance class

•Practice barre work on Saturdays (30 – 60 mins minimum)

•Practice centre/class work on Thursdays (30 – 60 mins minimum)

Rant??¿¿

I lost one of my closest friends. She was basically my sister. Yet you don’t really give a fuck because “I never really liked her anyway”. Oh wow really? Didn’t really like her huh? Well guess what, I fucking did. She is my sister and I am hurting. But I guess it doesn’t matter, you don’t really care so why should I.

Rant?¿ trigger warning

I want to cut my arms and thighs and just,,, not think about anything. I don’t feel good enough; grades aren’t good enough, not skinny enough, not good enough at anything, heck I don’t even feel like I’m “sick” enough or “bad” enough. I dont even feel like I hurt myself “bad” enough. I’m so fucking tried and done with this bullshit. I don’t want to say it but I’m hurting, and although it’s hurting me, I don’t want to hurt you. This is just how it is I guess, I’m hurting myself trying to protect you.

making a new plan🌻

making a plan tomorrow, been wayy off track. probs gonna make tomorrow a liquid fast day,,, if anyone has any exercise/diet plan or tips they wanna share, I’m all ears☺

Date: 11/04/2019

Update?💘

DATE: 30/03/2019

Heya guys! It’s been a while since I last updated. I’m not doing so good atm, kinda falling apart but I’m coping so that’s good. I have a boyfriend now (been dating 2 and a bit months) and that’s going good 🙂 Still tired all the time and I’m seriously off track,,, I’m gonna make a plan this weekend and then back on top of everything.

STAT SAFE💕 FEEL FREE TO MESSAGE ME IF YOU NEED TO CHAT💕💕