Tag: mine

Vent💘 (self harm)

DATE: 24/02/2019

I really want to self harm so bad right now. I just, really feel the need to ruin my body and “paint red lines with silver brushes”. I’m so tired and done. Bottling everything is making me fall apart and shatter

Stay safe everyone, feel free to message me anytime💘

Vent💘(ED & selfharm)

I’m falling apart: school grades are okay? I think? Classes are so tiring and I’m so done with the people in them. I just want to be alone. I’m slowly losing interest in friends, I just want to take a break and be alone. I’ve been eating too much lately but it’s okay, I’ve actually lost (0.3kg) so that’s good. I’m tried all the damn time, I just wanna sleep for like, 2 weeks. I’m getting back on track, hoping to take more dance on so thats good. I feel I can’t say anything to my friends so I guess it’s another classic case of bottling shit up

Thanks you guys, we may not interact that much but I really appreciate all of you💘💘

💘Stay safe: my asks/pm are always open💘

Vent: trigger warning (self harm ann ED)

I feel like absolute shit. I’ve eaten wayy too much the past few days (1200+). I want to strave/restrict and cut so badly. I’m so done with being fat, with looking like this. I have dance and aths but no one sees my hips. Idek anymore, I feel so alone and tried and done. No one wants or needs me and i can see why. I’m just so done

Food diary : 09022019

Limit is 900

Breakfast: 197

Serving baked beans(120)

Piece of wholegrain toast (77)

Lunch: 289

2 pieces of white toast (143)

Serving mild chicken pieces (96)

12g cheese (from block) (50)

Snack: 560

Sultana and apricot serving (118)

Yogurt honeycomb muesli bar (124)

Sour cream and onion 7biscuits (125)

Piece of white bread (71)

Tablespoon peanut butter (122)

Dinner: 500+

Spaghetti bolognese (500+)

Total: 1400+

NOTES:

• wayyy too muchhh,, jesus christ I need to eat less

• gotta get back to restricting

CW: 55kg ish

Food diary: 06 – 08/02/2019

Limit 900

NOTES:

• ate wayy too much (over 1000)

• didn’t burn off nearly enough

• I’m so disgusted in myself, I was actually doing well for once

CW: 54.9kg

Food diary : 05022019

Limit is 900

Breakfast: 154

Serving special flakes natural cereal (113)

¼ cup full cream milk (41)

Recess: 76

½ vegemite scroll (69)

¼ carrot (7)

Lunch: 214

250ml creamy veg/chickennoodle soup (136) Medium chocolate chip cookie (78)

Snack: 122

Muesli bar (122)

Dinner: 303

Handful maccas fries (50)

½ lamb chop (113)

80g pasta salad (190)

Total: 869

NOTES:

•went a little crazy today, overall okay tho

•restricted dinner well

•tbh thought I was wayy over (like, at least 1000) but thankfully not

•burnt around 2000 cals (existing and ballet)

CW: 54.3kg ish

Food diary : 04022019

Limit is 900

Breakfast: 296

Egg and bacon muffin (296)

Recess: 0

Nothing (0)

Lunch: 146

Small banana (90)

¼ brownie (28)

¼ large apple (28)

Dinner: 497

¼ brownie (28)

Sunbeam sultana and apricot serving (104)

Lasagna serving (277)

1/16 of chicken and veg pie (88)

Total: 959

NOTES:

• ate too much at breakfast (should aim for under 200)

• felt I had too much at dinner

• drank around 1 – 1.5 L of water

• burnt around 1500 ish cals (existing and walking around)

• restricted fairly well considering I’ve been over eating

CW: unknown (around 54 – 55kg)

Vent:trigger warning❗

DATE: 03/02/2019

Hey guys, I hope y’all are doing okay💓

I self harmed again last night and have been eating wayyy too much lately (tryna fill the void lol) and am probably in a bad depressive episode but o h w e l l. School tomorrow, thank god, so I’ll be restricting tomorrow and starting running again (had to take a break cause of my ankles). I’ll be posting food/exercise diarys and weigh ins again so get ready for that. Thats all for now:

STAY SAFE GUYS 💕

Vent:trigger warning❗

DATE: 31/01/18 Thursday

Hey guys, sorry it’s been a while, I’ve had a very hectic month. Shearing is finally over and I go back to school on monday (040218). I’ve been super off track lately which has honestly been rough. Things aren’t bad but they’re not stable/good either so… eh. Idek if I’m okay, I just relapsed into self harm (was clean 13 days) and i feel I’m relapsing into my ed as well so,, y e e t. Anyway, I’ll fix my shit before school, its around 3.5 months til dinner dance and that’s the deadline to be 46kg. Peace out guys

STAY SAFE, FEEL FREE TO MESSAGE ME FOR A CHAT💕

❗I DO NOT PROMOTE OR ENCOURAGE EATING DISORDERS, THIS IS FOR ME AND ONLY ME TO FOLLOW. PLEASE SEEK HELP❗

These are basically my rules, breaking them will result in punishments like extra exercise, straving and maybe sh, idk. alright let’s actually lose some damn weight, the goal is to be 50 by end of February💓