So I’m changing plan, surprise surprise. It’s working but I want to follow a diet plan, it’ll help keep me on track better and spice things up a bit. So I’m following @diaryofananorexic 70 day plan. I started today (11/07/18)
Btw: I’ll still upload the food log at night and my cw in the morning
Fifth day of #gonna fix it
Sw: 55.7kg Cw:
Fasted from midnight til 6pm
(Breakfast and lunch skipped)
Gum = 4
🌱Dinner: 583
Risotto (chicken and garlic) = 233
Chips and cheese = 200
Muesli bar = 150
Fast went well, drank 2.25L of water and had 1 piece of gum.
Third day of: #gonna fix it
Sw: 55.7kg Cw: 53.8
Limit: 600
🌱Breakfast: 0
Skipped
🌱Lunch: 131
Medium banana = 105
6 cherries = 26
🌱Snack: 231
1 cup cucumber slices = 16
Small banana = 90
Half piece of gum = 2
Jam drop = 50
Muffin = 23
Bits and pieces = 50
🌱Dinner: 235
Pumpkin, leek and spinach risotto = 235
🌱Total: 597
Felling okayish, ate a bit too much but oh well.
Second day of #gonna fix it
Sw: 55.7kg Cw: 54.2kg
🌱Breakfast: 0
Skipped
🌱Lunch: 117
One slice rasin bread = 96
5 cherries = 21
🌱Dinner: 230
Salt and pepper = 9
2 tablespoons of lemon juice = 7
¼ garlic clove = 1
½ cup straight pasta = 203
28g broccoli = 10
🌱Desert: 189
Strawberry yogurt = 168
5 cherries = 21
🌱Total: 536
Feeling good and full. Planning my meals really helped and I was able to refuse KFC and have a healthier option. I brought some fruit, low cal cereal, filling protein shake type thing and a low cal risotto.
Update: I ate a jam drop (like 40 cals?) and a cherry so my total is 580
First day of #gonna fix it
Sw: 55.7kg Cw: 55kg
🌱Limit: 600
🌱Total: 900+
Feeling gross, disgusting and fat. I’m gonna plan my meals and post them later, hoping that will help me stay on track. I will reach my goal, one mistake won’t stop me.
I’ve been cutting the past like 5 days ish and I haven’t the past two days due to a friend being over. It’s fucking killing me. All I’m thinking of is cutting, making more cuts/scars and having them all up the inside of my arm. I get the opportunity, I’m fucking taking it
So its july 1st and I’ve already fucked up. So I’m going to cleaning my act up tomorrow. My friend is over so it may be hard but I’ll do it. I will reach my goal weight (52kg) this month
Me: *constantly thinks about calories*
Me: *fast for 16 hours plus*
Me: *thinks about purging anything I eat*
Me: *worries about my weight constantly*
Me: *thinks eating anywhere near 1000 calories is unacceptable*
Me: *constantly feels shitty and guilty about eating*
Me: I’m obviously faking, I don’t have an ED or a problem with food
Fasted: 14 hrs
Skipped breakfast
Lunch and dinner: 997
Chicken, lettuce and cheese burger = 498 ish
Had two
Snack: 200?
Total: over 1000
Was 53.6kg yesterday, now 55kg ish
I’m so tired of wasting time, never seeing results, counting calories, feeling guilty, starving myself, binging, losing and gaining weight. I’m so tired of it but i can’t/dont want to let go? I’m not even that far in. So I told a close friend, I trusted and hoped that she’d support and help me. She didn’t. I basically got the “you should seek professional help” and “you’re not fat or a failure”. Why do I keep being ignored? I kinda wanted to ‘recover’ but I’m not so sure anymore.
pain-lies-inside 