a lot of emotional abuse is subtlety, it’s good you asked.
emotional abuse can be threats/intimidation. throwing things near you can count. questioning you with a knife in their hands. saying threatening things repeatedly. my mom once told me that if i didn’t testify to live with her that i would end up living in a cardboard box on the side of the road. just things that can be perceived as a threat without directly saying anything explicitly threatening like “i’ll kill you” (which would count but it’s a more obvious sign)
other things can be comments like “oh, you’re eating that?” or like “don’t you want less food? you’re getting fat.” comments about your weight (especially if they’re excessive) are red flags.
leaving for extended periods of time can count, especially if it’s not for work or something important like that. having double standards can count, like “you never leave the house!” and then when you actually go do something “you’re always out of the house, you’re never here!”
going back and changing things that happened, like if you and your sibling are sure something happened a certain way but your parents start denying it and insisting something else happened (especially if this new thing makes you look/feel guilty/bad). really just anything that seems like they’re intentionally trying to put you down/make you feel responsible for things you can’t control.
another thing that professionals have associated with emotional abuse is like yelling at the other parent/hitting another parent in front of the child. hitting your animals/siblings in front of you is also emotional abuse.
comments on your clothes/hair/weight or any part of your appearance in a constant negative way.
talking about you negatively with other people when you’re in hearing range (i mean talking about you badly in general but especially if you’re like right there)
i think those are the most common ones i can think of… there are definitely a lot of other examples i could list but these were just the first ones that came to mind. i hope this helps! you can also go through my emotional abuse tag for more examples from people who have submitted their experiences, and i think i defined emotional abuse somewhere in there as well.
Its sad how many of these I can relate to/have memories of
