Anorexia is not just skipping a few meals and dropping pounds. It’s obsessing over every calorie you burn and consume. It’s planning meals days in advance so you can schedule when to work it off. It’s not eating for a week so you can have a sliver of pie at Christmas. It’s having panic attacks at the thought of family holidays, especially those centered around food. It’s your heart dropping to your stomach when someone says “omg, no, you don’t look fat!” It’s not just eating ice and celery. It’s fearing eating ice for the water weight and fearing celery for the 13 cals.
Bulimia is not sticking two fingers down your throat, throwing up a full meal in one second, and then dropping pounds. Bulimia is sitting over the toilet bowl or garbage can or whatever your poison is, covered in your own vomit and tears and piss because you need to be empty. It’s coughing up blood because you carved into the back of your throat with your nails. It’s getting a new toothbrush every week because all of them smell like vomit. It’s putting bandaids over your knuckles so people can’t see scars and bruises. It’s rotted teeth and fevers and red eyes. It’s weighing before a binge, after a binge, before a purge, and after a purge because you need to make sure you got every gram of food out of you.
Eating disorders are not glamourous. They’re not a trend. They’re not a lifestyle. They’re pain, and blood, and tears, and sweat. They consume your life and beat you down till you can’t think about anything other than food.
Eating disorders are not your choice.
This made me feel so invalidated omggg I know it wasn’t intentional but this isn’t how my ED is :(((
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