Update💗

Cw: 54.6kg Gw: 45kg

Gone down from 56kg to 54.4kg so that’s good. Hoping to lose 3kg or more a week between now and dinner dance in order to be 48kg (dinner dance is 1 month away)

jade-laveau:

dyingweightless:

xdead-bonesx:

xsilently-screamingx:

teaskinny:

notthinenough:

maddieb123789:

apollodiangelo:

watehva:

destined4nirvana:

sad-butsassy:

mashtonpotatoes:

slowlylosinglbs:

seeyanightvale:

eutux1a:

It’s been a few hours, you’ve just been hanging there. You’ve been quiet, too quiet. Usually there’s music playing, or your foot steps could be heard. But today, you’re quiet. Your little sister, who doesn’t normally come to greet you because you lock yourself away, decides to see what you’re doing. She assumes you’re taking a nap, or doing some homework quietly. She runs up the stairs, eager to see, but she comes to an immediate halt. You’re not doing your homework, nor taking a nap. Your music isn’t playing and you aren’t walking around. You’re hanging there, completely still, now just like her. At this moment, her whole world shatters. Everything she has ever known, looked up to, loved, is hanging there by a thread. At this moment, her life has been changed forever. At this moment, she wishes she was hanging with you.

Before you decide to take your life, imagine who will find you. Imagine them walking into a room, and seeing you just hanging there. Whether it be your little sister, little brother, mother father, grandparents, a friend. Imagine what will happen when they find you. No, they will not say “Finally, they’re gone.” No, they will not say “I’m happy they did that.” No, they will not say “I never loved them anyways.” They will die. Their hearts will break. They will hurt, more than you ever could. They will cry, scream, and break down. They’ll believe it’s all just a dream, praying to wake up. Except, they won’t feel that for a few seconds, or a few days, not weeks, nor months. They will feel that until the day they die. Everyday will be hell. They’ll think of you ever second. They’ll hate themselves for not being able to help or save you. They’ll wish they could die too. They’ll want to give up, just to be with you. They won’t be ever be happy again. They won’t smile. They won’t go back to their daily routine. They’ll die every time they walk past your room, or see a picture of you, or think of a memory with you. They’ll think, but stay quiet. They’ll visit your grave, feeling a knife go through their chest every time. And every morning when they wake up, no matter how long it’s been, they’ll wake up to thinking they’ll see you, only to be let down once again. And every night, they will cry themselves to sleep, because even though they refuse to admit it, know you’re gone forever.

Before you decide to take your life, think of your family, burying you. Yes, your own mother and father are planning your funeral. It’s supposed to be the other way around, but it’s not. They’ll have to call the cops, sign a death certificate, pick out clothing, buy a tomb stone, a casket, pick out flower arrangements, and more; All for their child’s funeral. The morning of your funeral, everyone who loves you is wearing black. Tears are streaming down their face, while their heart is breaking. Everyone who you thought didn’t need you, or didn’t care, are waiting in line to see you. They aren’t waiting in line at a party, or a graduation, or at a wedding reception. They’re waiting to see you, hands folded, lifeless, in a casket.

Before you decide to take your life, think of everyone you will be hurting. Don’t you dare say no one, because absolutely everyone will be affected. Your grandparents, won’t have a grandchild anymore. Your parents, won’t have a child anymore. Your brother or sister, won’t have a sibling anymore. Your pet, won’t have an owner anymore. That person you sit next to in class, won’t feel your presence anymore. Your teacher, won’t have a student anymore. That time your grandparents told you no, will haunt them forever, thinking it is their fault, that you are now dead. That time your parents yelled at you, will haunt them forever, thinking if they didn’t yell at you, you would still be here. That time your sibling said they hated you, will hate themselves, because they believe you would still be alive if they said they loved you instead. Those kids who made you feel bad, will wish they were dead too, because if they just smiled at you instead, you would be here. That teacher that said you didn’t meet her expectations, will feel like a failure, because you would still be here, if she believed in you. Everyone, who has ever been in your presence, will hurt, because if they showed you they cared, you would still be here.

Before you decide to take your life, think. Don’t just think of yourself, think of the consequences for everyone else. No one’s life will be the same again. That person who God made specially for you, won’t have you. That happiness that was waiting for you, will never show again. Before you decide to take your life, realize that you may be ending your pain, but you’ll be starting a lifetime of everyone elses.

If you are feeling alone, and think that suicide is the only way out:

My ask is open, and I’m always here. I’ll never judge you. I’ll try to help you.

If you are thinking of taking your life, call:

1-800-784-2433

1-800-SUICIDE

You stupid motherfuckers, don’t you dare not reblog this. Because this deserves 100K notes more than pictures of your favourite gay couple or cute cats, and yet it has 243 notes. 243 fucking notes? Fuck that. Fucking signal boost this.

I wish she had seen this.

You could save a life tonight with just one reblog

oh god I wish he had seen this that night

guys you could save a life tonight I dont care if your a colour blog or whatever reblog this now

There will never be a time when I don’t reblog this

Forever reblog. Please, please reblog this

Always reblog always

This is what keeps me alive. For every one in my life.

I struggle a lot with depression and suicidal thoughts. Even though most of this isn’t true for me (only real family connection is my mom, but that is enough) this story is so powerful and it helps. I saved the post to come back to next time I have a hard night. This is really important for everyone to read.
If you feel like you don’t have anyone, friends, family, pets, coworkers, teachers, fellow students, you have me. I will care even if we have never talked or interacted at all.

I wish he had seen this last week, I’m so sorry.

wow………this truly does save lives cuz it just saved mine…………i was scrolling through tumblr telling myself this will be the last time i’ll use this app since i dont think there will be a tomorrow since IM.JUST.DONE but then i saw this……..thank you for whoever made this

🌹

Don’t any of you dare scroll past this. This could save someone’s life. I don’t care what the theme of your blog is, if you don’t reblog this, you are heartless.

This. Could. Save. A. Life.

#fixing myself

Finally getting my weight back under control. I still have a long way to go but I’m getting there.

Weight this morning: 56.7kg

Weight now (10:46pm): 54.8kg

°remember that recovery is always an option, stay safe💗°

That’s Why

does-she-eat:

It was when my mom had to buy her 13 year old daughter lotion for stretch marks
It was when I was picking out an outfit and had to keep telling them that the clothes were to small
It was picking out homecoming dresses for the other person and saying my size under my breath
It was the “do u really NEED more food?”
It was the way the doctors looked at me when they wrote down my medically obese weight on their charts
It was the fact that when I told my friend I stopped eating she brushed it off because I wasn’t skinny enough to be in danger
It was that my friends dad said that after high school when guys stop caring about looks so much, I’ll get all the guys
It was the fact that I was the only one at the pool not wearing a bikini
It was the fact that I’d never had a boyfriend or a best friend

That’s why I started

It’s the fact I carry safety pins in my purse because most of my clothes are too big
It’s the “have you lost weight?”
It’s the “I’m gonna try on a medium shirt”
It’s the LOSING WEIGHT
It’s not looking as much at sizes because if it looks like it will fit it probably will
It’s the heart race that you get when you see you’ve lost even a pound
It’s the thrill of accomplishing something you’ve worked so hard for

That’s why I kept going

It’s finally hitting your goal weight
It’s going back to school and watching everyone’s jaws drop
It’s never worrying about muffin tops or thunder thighs again
It’s having a lazy day and it being cute not slobby
It’s the eating a cookie and not having people think ‘that’s why she’s fat’ because you’re not
It’s the boys that flirt with you
It’s the girls that are jealous of you
It’s the body you’ve always wanted

That’s why I’m in the hospital

It was the malnutrition that made you faint
It was the over used heart that went into cardiac arrest
It was the lack of food that make your hair and nails frail and brittle
It was the doctor that couldn’t save you
It was the therapist that could get to you
It was the eating disorder that controlled you

That’s why I’m dead

EXERCISES

anainfoblog:

Quick 100 calories:

40 jumping jacks

30 crunches

20 squats

10 pushups

(I can’t do pushups, so I just do 40 more jumping jacks)

Thigh Gap:

10 toe touches

20 lunges

30 squats

40 jumping jacks

50 second toe touch

60 second wall sit

Arms:

5 arm swings

2 burpees

5 bench dips

20 wall pushups

3 burpees

1 divebomber pushup

5 bench dips

5 kneeling pushups

3 renegade rows on each arm

2 inchworms

1 pushup

:30 downward dog

2 burpees

5 arm swings

:30 arm circles (forward and backward)

Butt:

15 front lunges (both legs)

15 back lunges (both legs)

20 squats

30 leg lifts (each leg)

:20 plank

:30 downward dog

15 front lunges (both legs)

15 back lunges (both legs)

Slimmer waist:

30 crunches

30 reverse crunches

30 butterfly crunches

30 bicycle crunches

30 side plank dips

30 other side plank dips

30 Russian twists

Ab work out:

30 jumping jacks

20 crunches

10 vertical leg crunches

20 oblique crunches

30 Russian twists

:20 plank

10 sit ups

20 bicycles

30 scissors

20 vertical leg crunches

10 jack knife sit ups

:20 side plank (both sides)

30 Russian twists

20 oblique crunches

10 sit ups

20 scissors

:30 plank

Slimmer Legs:

20 windshield wipers (both sides)

20 bent side lifts (both sides)

20 leg pushes (both legs)

20 thigh twists (both legs)

:30 leg lift (both sides)

Here’s what I do at the gym:

16 crunches, knees bent

16 crunches, legs straight

16 crunches, legs in butterfly position

8 crunches, knees bent

8 crunches, legs straight

8 crunches, legs in butterfly position

16 crunches, knees bent

16 crunches, legs straight

16 crunches, legs in butterfly position

4 crunches, knees bent

4 crunches, legs straight

4 crunches, legs in butterfly position

2 crunches, knees bent

2 crunches, legs straight

2 crunches, legs in butterfly position

(Total of 138 crunches)

Cardio work out machines are actually best in intervals. It allows more fat to be burned in between intervals while your heart rate is still up.

20 min elliptical

5 min stretch

15 min elliptical

5 min stretch

10 min elliptical

5 min stretch

10 min stationary bike

If you don’t have a work out machine at home or a membership to a gym, you can also jump rope, which is great exercise, walk, jog, or dance. Look up all the ways you can mindlessly burn calories such as tapping your foot.

kiriamaya:

jemthecrystalgem:

shoujocowboy:

tiptoe39:

avpdkicking:

anyone else live under the assumption that they’re constantly doing something wrong

How about the assumption that everyone’s just being polite and any minute now they’re going to snap and let you know how awful you are

Everyone who reblogs this post, please read about the psychological phenomena of Childhood Emotional Neglect.

“if you identify with more than one symptom”

I identify with fucking all of them

I mean, I wasn’t really neglected, so-

Emotional neglect can take many forms, from a parent having unrealistically high expectations or not listening attentively, to invalidating a child’s emotional experiences to the point he or she begins to feel self-doubt.

Oh.

Oh.

Fuck.

I identify with most of them, fuck

So I’m cleaning my room tomorrow and I’m scared. It’s a huge task and i dont think i can do it. I dont know if I can let things go. I dont know whats in my room. I’m so emotionally attached to things, what if i can’t let things go? What if I keep everything and dont get rid of anything? Keep things I don’t need? I’ll get annoyed and frustrated and I’ll get mad at people and myself and…. I’m so scared, i dont want to hurt anyone but as always, I’ll fuck things up

So my older sister recently moved into her own home (she’s 19) and honestly I’m kinda jealous of her. I want that freedom and independence. I want to live by myself and decorate my own house and backyard and live how I want to. I can’t wait to move out

If I ever kms, I do not want people’s sympathy. I do not want the people who obviously don’t like me/don’t even know me to suddenly be like “she was a lovely girl, so kind. I miss her so much”, I don’t want their bullshit. I could only hope that those I love wouldn’t be too hurt and that they could move on and live life to the fullest.