Updateđ
Cw: 54.6kg Gw: 45kg
Gone down from 56kg to 54.4kg so that’s good. Hoping to lose 3kg or more a week between now and dinner dance in order to be 48kg (dinner dance is 1 month away)
Cw: 54.6kg Gw: 45kg
Gone down from 56kg to 54.4kg so that’s good. Hoping to lose 3kg or more a week between now and dinner dance in order to be 48kg (dinner dance is 1 month away)

Itâs been a few hours, youâve just been hanging there. Youâve been quiet, too quiet. Usually thereâs music playing, or your foot steps could be heard. But today, youâre quiet. Your little sister, who doesnât normally come to greet you because you lock yourself away, decides to see what youâre doing. She assumes youâre taking a nap, or doing some homework quietly. She runs up the stairs, eager to see, but she comes to an immediate halt. Youâre not doing your homework, nor taking a nap. Your music isnât playing and you arenât walking around. Youâre hanging there, completely still, now just like her. At this moment, her whole world shatters. Everything she has ever known, looked up to, loved, is hanging there by a thread. At this moment, her life has been changed forever. At this moment, she wishes she was hanging with you.
Before you decide to take your life, imagine who will find you. Imagine them walking into a room, and seeing you just hanging there. Whether it be your little sister, little brother, mother father, grandparents, a friend. Imagine what will happen when they find you. No, they will not say âFinally, theyâre gone.â No, they will not say âIâm happy they did that.â No, they will not say âI never loved them anyways.â They will die. Their hearts will break. They will hurt, more than you ever could. They will cry, scream, and break down. Theyâll believe itâs all just a dream, praying to wake up. Except, they wonât feel that for a few seconds, or a few days, not weeks, nor months. They will feel that until the day they die. Everyday will be hell. Theyâll think of you ever second. Theyâll hate themselves for not being able to help or save you. Theyâll wish they could die too. Theyâll want to give up, just to be with you. They wonât be ever be happy again. They wonât smile. They wonât go back to their daily routine. Theyâll die every time they walk past your room, or see a picture of you, or think of a memory with you. Theyâll think, but stay quiet. Theyâll visit your grave, feeling a knife go through their chest every time. And every morning when they wake up, no matter how long itâs been, theyâll wake up to thinking theyâll see you, only to be let down once again. And every night, they will cry themselves to sleep, because even though they refuse to admit it, know youâre gone forever.
Before you decide to take your life, think of your family, burying you. Yes, your own mother and father are planning your funeral. Itâs supposed to be the other way around, but itâs not. Theyâll have to call the cops, sign a death certificate, pick out clothing, buy a tomb stone, a casket, pick out flower arrangements, and more; All for their childâs funeral. The morning of your funeral, everyone who loves you is wearing black. Tears are streaming down their face, while their heart is breaking. Everyone who you thought didnât need you, or didnât care, are waiting in line to see you. They arenât waiting in line at a party, or a graduation, or at a wedding reception. Theyâre waiting to see you, hands folded, lifeless, in a casket.
Before you decide to take your life, think of everyone you will be hurting. Donât you dare say no one, because absolutely everyone will be affected. Your grandparents, wonât have a grandchild anymore. Your parents, wonât have a child anymore. Your brother or sister, wonât have a sibling anymore. Your pet, wonât have an owner anymore. That person you sit next to in class, wonât feel your presence anymore. Your teacher, wonât have a student anymore. That time your grandparents told you no, will haunt them forever, thinking it is their fault, that you are now dead. That time your parents yelled at you, will haunt them forever, thinking if they didnât yell at you, you would still be here. That time your sibling said they hated you, will hate themselves, because they believe you would still be alive if they said they loved you instead. Those kids who made you feel bad, will wish they were dead too, because if they just smiled at you instead, you would be here. That teacher that said you didnât meet her expectations, will feel like a failure, because you would still be here, if she believed in you. Everyone, who has ever been in your presence, will hurt, because if they showed you they cared, you would still be here.
Before you decide to take your life, think. Donât just think of yourself, think of the consequences for everyone else. No oneâs life will be the same again. That person who God made specially for you, wonât have you. That happiness that was waiting for you, will never show again. Before you decide to take your life, realize that you may be ending your pain, but youâll be starting a lifetime of everyone elses.
If you are feeling alone, and think that suicide is the only way out:
My ask is open, and Iâm always here. Iâll never judge you. Iâll try to help you.
If you are thinking of taking your life, call:
1-800-784-2433
1-800-SUICIDE
You stupid motherfuckers, donât you dare not reblog this. Because this deserves 100K notes more than pictures of your favourite gay couple or cute cats, and yet it has 243 notes. 243 fucking notes? Fuck that. Fucking signal boost this.
I wish she had seen this.
You could save a life tonight with just one reblog
oh god I wish he had seen this that nightguys you could save a life tonight I dont care if your a colour blog or whatever reblog this now
There will never be a time when I donât reblog this
Forever reblog. Please, please reblog this
Always reblog always
This is what keeps me alive. For every one in my life.
I struggle a lot with depression and suicidal thoughts. Even though most of this isnât true for me (only real family connection is my mom, but that is enough) this story is so powerful and it helps. I saved the post to come back to next time I have a hard night. This is really important for everyone to read.
If you feel like you donât have anyone, friends, family, pets, coworkers, teachers, fellow students, you have me. I will care even if we have never talked or interacted at all.I wish he had seen this last week, Iâm so sorry.
wowâŚâŚâŚthis truly does save lives cuz it just saved mineâŚâŚâŚâŚi was scrolling through tumblr telling myself this will be the last time iâll use this app since i dont think there will be a tomorrow since IM.JUST.DONE but then i saw thisâŚâŚ..thank you for whoever made this
đš
Donât any of you dare scroll past this. This could save someoneâs life. I donât care what the theme of your blog is, if you donât reblog this, you are heartless.
This. Could. Save. A. Life.
Finally getting my weight back under control. I still have a long way to go but I’m getting there.
Weight this morning: 56.7kg
Weight now (10:46pm): 54.8kg
°remember that recovery is always an option, stay safeđ°
It was when my mom had to buy her 13 year old daughter lotion for stretch marks
It was when I was picking out an outfit and had to keep telling them that the clothes were to small
It was picking out homecoming dresses for the other person and saying my size under my breath
It was the âdo u really NEED more food?â
It was the way the doctors looked at me when they wrote down my medically obese weight on their charts
It was the fact that when I told my friend I stopped eating she brushed it off because I wasnât skinny enough to be in danger
It was that my friends dad said that after high school when guys stop caring about looks so much, Iâll get all the guys
It was the fact that I was the only one at the pool not wearing a bikini
It was the fact that Iâd never had a boyfriend or a best friendThatâs why I started
Itâs the fact I carry safety pins in my purse because most of my clothes are too big
Itâs the âhave you lost weight?â
Itâs the âIâm gonna try on a medium shirtâ
Itâs the LOSING WEIGHT
Itâs not looking as much at sizes because if it looks like it will fit it probably will
Itâs the heart race that you get when you see youâve lost even a pound
Itâs the thrill of accomplishing something youâve worked so hard forThatâs why I kept going
Itâs finally hitting your goal weight
Itâs going back to school and watching everyoneâs jaws drop
Itâs never worrying about muffin tops or thunder thighs again
Itâs having a lazy day and it being cute not slobby
Itâs the eating a cookie and not having people think âthatâs why sheâs fatâ because youâre not
Itâs the boys that flirt with you
Itâs the girls that are jealous of you
Itâs the body youâve always wantedThatâs why Iâm in the hospital
It was the malnutrition that made you faint
It was the over used heart that went into cardiac arrest
It was the lack of food that make your hair and nails frail and brittle
It was the doctor that couldnât save you
It was the therapist that could get to you
It was the eating disorder that controlled youThatâs why Iâm dead
Quick 100 calories:
40 jumping jacks
30 crunches
20 squats
10 pushups
(I canât do pushups, so I just do 40 more jumping jacks)
Thigh Gap:
10 toe touches
20 lunges
30 squats
40 jumping jacks
50 second toe touch
60 second wall sit
Arms:
5 arm swings
2 burpees
5 bench dips
20 wall pushups
3 burpees
1 divebomber pushup
5 bench dips
5 kneeling pushups
3 renegade rows on each arm
2 inchworms
1 pushup
:30 downward dog
2 burpees
5 arm swings
:30 arm circles (forward and backward)
Butt:
15 front lunges (both legs)
15 back lunges (both legs)
20 squats
30 leg lifts (each leg)
:20 plank
:30 downward dog
15 front lunges (both legs)
15 back lunges (both legs)
Slimmer waist:
30 crunches
30 reverse crunches
30 butterfly crunches
30 bicycle crunches
30 side plank dips
30 other side plank dips
30 Russian twists
Ab work out:
30 jumping jacks
20 crunches
10 vertical leg crunches
20 oblique crunches
30 Russian twists
:20 plank
10 sit ups
20 bicycles
30 scissors
20 vertical leg crunches
10 jack knife sit ups
:20 side plank (both sides)
30 Russian twists
20 oblique crunches
10 sit ups
20 scissors
:30 plank
Slimmer Legs:
20 windshield wipers (both sides)
20 bent side lifts (both sides)
20 leg pushes (both legs)
20 thigh twists (both legs)
:30 leg lift (both sides)
Hereâs what I do at the gym:
16 crunches, knees bent
16 crunches, legs straight
16 crunches, legs in butterfly position
8 crunches, knees bent
8 crunches, legs straight
8 crunches, legs in butterfly position
16 crunches, knees bent
16 crunches, legs straight
16 crunches, legs in butterfly position
4 crunches, knees bent
4 crunches, legs straight
4 crunches, legs in butterfly position
2 crunches, knees bent
2 crunches, legs straight
2 crunches, legs in butterfly position
(Total of 138 crunches)
Cardio work out machines are actually best in intervals. It allows more fat to be burned in between intervals while your heart rate is still up.
20 min elliptical
5 min stretch
15 min elliptical
5 min stretch
10 min elliptical
5 min stretch
10 min stationary bike
If you donât have a work out machine at home or a membership to a gym, you can also jump rope, which is great exercise, walk, jog, or dance. Look up all the ways you can mindlessly burn calories such as tapping your foot.
anyone else live under the assumption that theyâre constantly doing something wrong
How about the assumption that everyoneâs just being polite and any minute now theyâre going to snap and let you know how awful you are
Everyone who reblogs this post, please read about the psychological phenomena of Childhood Emotional Neglect.
âif you identify with more than one symptomâ
I identify with fucking all of them
I mean, I wasnât really neglected, so-
Emotional neglect can take many forms, from a parent having unrealistically high expectations or not listening attentively, to invalidating a childâs emotional experiences to the point he or she begins to feel self-doubt.
Oh.
Oh.
Fuck.
I identify with most of them, fuck
So I’m cleaning my room tomorrow and I’m scared. It’s a huge task and i dont think i can do it. I dont know if I can let things go. I dont know whats in my room. I’m so emotionally attached to things, what if i can’t let things go? What if I keep everything and dont get rid of anything? Keep things I don’t need? I’ll get annoyed and frustrated and I’ll get mad at people and myself and…. I’m so scared, i dont want to hurt anyone but as always, I’ll fuck things up
I’m constantly in the mood of “I want to die but I don’t want to kms, I just kinda want to stop existing for a bit”
So my older sister recently moved into her own home (she’s 19) and honestly I’m kinda jealous of her. I want that freedom and independence. I want to live by myself and decorate my own house and backyard and live how I want to. I can’t wait to move out
If I ever kms, I do not want people’s sympathy. I do not want the people who obviously don’t like me/don’t even know me to suddenly be like “she was a lovely girl, so kind. I miss her so much”, I don’t want their bullshit. I could only hope that those I love wouldn’t be too hurt and that they could move on and live life to the fullest.