How To Get A Job Fast As Hell

rootbeergoddess:

theaugustinwonderland:

thechronicleofshe:

 @owenabbott​ 

  • Apply to a  job, wait (1) day, then call.  Give them your first and last name. Tell them you submitted an application and that you’re very motivated to find [Enter field name] work. Let the conversation lead you wherever it takes. Be very polite. Say” thank you for your time, I’ll be looking forward to hearing back from you.” Rinse, repeat. This is to force them to be looking out for your application. 
  •  When you get to the interview, shake their hand firmly,  tell them your first and last name.  
  • Describe your experiences  as “ two years transcription and data entry” if you have a desk job interview and “ [however many years]  costumer service, retail and stock” for your retail jobs.  
  • Don’t use job “ buzz words” I stg they hear them all day. Say  things like, “ I’m detail oriented and am very good at taking instruction.”  “ I would like to work for a company with integrity and I feel that [ company name] would be a good fit”
  • When they ask you if you have “reliable transportation” say  YES. don’t tell them what kind of transportation, just say yes. (if you don’t do this, you wont get the job , I’m telling you right now). 
  • Research the company. Know what they do, why they do it, how OLD the company is. WHERE it was founded, and what kind of position you’re intending to apply for.
  • When they ask you “ give us a situation where you had to blah blah blah” Make one the fuck up. Make yourself sound good as hell, and like you put your company’s needs slightly above the customer’s needs, but make the customer happy. 
  • If they ask you about being outgoing, Say you “like to focus on your work so you can concentrate on doing things right” (which buys you out of having to act friendly all the time)

Questions for after the interview:

1.  Does this position offer upward mobility?

2. Do you enjoy working for the company? (if you’re not interviewing for a temp agency who will send you anywhere)

  •  Then, shake their hand,  Ask them to repeat their name (REMEMBER THIS) say thank you for your time, wish them a nice day and leave. write their name down outside if you have to, just remember the fuck out of it. 
  • AFTER your interview, send a card directed to the name of the person who interviewed you (I’ll give you them) that says “Thank you for the interview, I appreciate the opportunity. have a great day” This shows  that you have an understanding of professionalism, and will have them thinking of you kindly (or at least remembering you) when they’re shuffling through the choices. 
  • DO NOT tell them you just moved to the city over the phone.  In person, tell them you just moved to the city. Make it sound like the only reason you need a job is because you moved. Not because you’re desperate. 

__________

 The titles of each section are key words you can use to search for jobs on Snagajob.com  and Simplyhired.

Data Entry:

  1. http://citystaffing.com/job/data-entry-specialistsmailroom-clerk/?utm_source=Indeed&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=Indeed
  2. https://www.roberthalf.com/officeteam/job-search/chicago-il/data-entry-clerks-needed/43517752?codes=IND
  3. http://www.simplyhired.com/job/data-entry-specialists-job/chicago-transit-authority/jepfivkhjk?cid=udsowkxtausyzitcfeecaeuzoxkltmbl
  4. https://jobs-theprivatebank.icims.com/jobs/3435/temporary—data-entry/job?mode=job&iis=SimplyHired&iisn=SimplyHired&utm_source=simplyhired&utm_medium=jobclick&mobile=false&width=792&height=500&bga=true&needsRedirect=false&jan1offset=-360&jun1offset=-300

 Front Desk:

  1. http://localjobs.joblur.com/jobapplication2/?jobid=99957&subaffid=300006&JobType=Food%20/%20Bev%20/%20Hosp&ix=1&c1=99957
  2. https://jobs.ajg.com/job/-/-/109/1256110?apstr=%26src%3DJB-10280
  3. https://pepper.hiretouch.com/job-search/job-details?jobID=32066&job=receptionist
  4. http://accesscommunityhealth.hodesiq.com/jobs/default.aspx?JobID=5203566 (this one is close to the place you rented.)
  5. http://ihg.taleo.net/careersection/all/jobdetail.ftl?job=R113601&lang=en&media_id=24863&src=Indeed&src=JB-10920
  6. https://covalentcareers.com/employer/listing/86450f8517588197c9b04f5068ed4300/detail/?apply=1&ref=indeed&v=30&utm_source=indeed&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=indeed_optical
  7. http://www.careerbuilder.com/jobseeker/jobs/jobdetails.aspx?APath=2.21.0.0.0&job_did=JHN0KY6823WBWZX21VM&showNewJDP=yes&IPath=JRKV0F
  8. http://www.simplyhired.com/job/front-desk-receptionist-customer-service-sales-job/rosin-optical-co-inc/qaeoquzgdi?cid=ivdnhijkmxchdanahwfoupazcwisfnxt
  9. http://www.simplyhired.com/job/receptionist-front-desk-job/all-us-jobs/fonj7wmldf?cid=trhyvmfcsgjltxkjxkemyinsjveewfjp

Other jobs you don’t need a degree for that aren’t retail:

  1. Dental hygenist ( yeah, seriously, who knew!) They also make about 40,000 a year)
  2. Stenographer-Court Reporter
  3. Surveyer ( you need a certificate for this, but its something you can get while working a temporary job and doing this on the side. Also, they make like $55,000 a year sooooooo) https://sjobs.brassring.com/TGWEbHost/jobdetails.aspx?jobId=1406428&PartnerId=16023&SiteId=5118&codes=IND
  4. Real Estate Broker
  5. Purchasing agents, except wholesale, retail, and farm products ( basically you arrange to buy large things) they make like 60K
  6. Claims adjuster 
  7. Loan Officer
  8. Subway driver (trains) they make like 60K,
  9. Duct Cleaner: http://jobview.monster.com/Duct-Cleaners-950-00-Weekly-Entry-Level-Flexible-Hours-Call-to-Apply-Job-Chicago-IL-US-161970321.aspx?intcid=re

I knew this but I’m reblogging cause someone might not know

I’m saving this.

onion-souls:

fireandshellamari:

deathdaydream:

mykrazyuniverse:

magistrate-of-mediocrity:

deathdaydream:

deathdaydream:

soappppp

yall I fucking bled for this peice of trash pls like it 

oh. I thought it was a photo.

Damn it took me 5 minutes to figure out why you wanted people to like a picture of soap. You did such a good job people think you are just posting random pics of soap.

this isn’t the fist time this has happened, I painted lube and everyone was confused that I posted a picture of lube 

Imagine being such a good artist that people think you’re just an lolrandom shitposter

the-barista-district:

cause-of-chaos:

cuteiemonster:

lesbian-tm:

beyondbeerus:

peggy-against-ddlg:

Pedophiles don’t belong in the LGBT community. Go die in a fire. You are not welcome.

Actually we do because lgbt is about celebrating the weird/taboo so yeah

nope. nope. no it’s not. that’s incredible homophobic/transphobic. you don’t belong in the lgbt community.

Please unfollow me if you believe pedophilia counts as a group in the LGBT+ community

actually, if you’re a pedophile please unfollow me. I don’t want that shit any where near me

Also unfollow if you think the LGBT+ Community is for the weird/taboo

We are not weird nor taboo. Don’t let pedophiles taint our community

blackcoffee-in-bed:

stephrc79:

inkskinned:

ive been on tumblr a long time and i remember when everyone said “oh don’t romanticize mental illness” and it was agreed that doing that was gross and a good way to kill people indirectly

but somehow we’ve come full circle and there are people who legit defend their right to be anti-recovery there are people who don’t want to get better and spread the idea that you can’t get better as if it’s gospel and it’s fucking frightening to me bc nobody seems to want to say “hey? this is toxic and untrue and is your disease speaking, and it’s not something you should accept.”

and i feel like every recovery post gets about 500 of these people saying “this isn’t something that will work” “cool karen i’m depressed” “maybe it worked for you but it won’t work for other people” and that’s… just… im so sorry if you’re 15. i’m sorry if you’re in high school and watching grown adults tell you it doesn’t get better. that nobody says that with time and help and patience the world stops being so heavy, that accepting your illness as a fact is one thing but accepting it as the only way to be is just wrong, that you can learn to live with it and still find some degree of “happy”…. if i had seen this shit back when i was … oh god starting at 12 when i was already self-harming …. i think i’d have actually honest-to-god killed myself. not a joke, not a funny tumblr punchline, i would have actually just killed myself. 

i’m saying this right here and right now to the adults on this site. if you for any reason shoot down positivity that’s causing no harm – you might have indirectly worsened someone else’s condition, and you should try and do better in the future. if you find it necessary to tell people “recovery is a lie”, you need to do better. i know everyone has different circumstances, but i also know that mental illness behaves in such a way that everyone thinks they can’t recover.  if you feel like you should be spreading the Word Of Relapse, you are causing toxic language to be normalized and you need to do better. 

im team “cool karen ive got depression and that means i’m going to try this because i’ve got to try something” i’m team “romanticize recovery” i’m team “it isn’t working now but it might in the future and it’s worth staying to find out” im team “hey this didn’t work for me but it might help somebody else out”

fuck guys it shouldn’t be an unpopular opinion to say “i don’t want any of you to die”.

Oh thank fuck someone finally said it!

Urgh, YESSS

deadpan-snarkeet:

coffeeandcomposition:

becketts-one-and-done:

thexfiles:

hanniballecterlicious:

thexfiles:

suicidal people deserve a space to talk about their suicidal feelings without risking hospitalization/institutionalization or being accused of being manipulative or attention seeking

It’s a therapist. The word you’re looking for is a therapist.

wrong

The second a therapist thinks you’re even slightly suicidal (ie. Whenever you even say the word suicide) they “pink slip” you, which means you get sent to a mental hospital against your will.

I think about suicide almost every day, but it doesn’t always mean I’m gonna go kill myself.

I just want to say, as someone who has taken courses in ethics and regulations regarding psychology and therapy and has worked at a counseling center for more than five years, THIS SHOULD NOT BE THE CASE. The only time a therapist or other healthcare provider is required to report suicidal or homicidal ideation is if there is a specific plan. I am deeply sorry to anyone who has ever experienced a therapist who acted otherwise. To the person above, I am not sure what your experience has been, but I promise you it is not a typical one, at least not in the area where I live (California). I have never heard of a “pink slip”, and I’ve worked with therapists for 5+ years.  

Going to a therapist changed my life. I was able to open up and say “I think about suicide almost every day”, and for the first time in my life someone said “You don’t have to live like this.” She didn’t have me hospitalized, she didn’t raise any alarms. She gently asked me if I had a specific plan, and when I said no, she said “We are going to help you get better.” 

YOUR THERAPIST ABSOLUTELY SHOULD NOT HAVE YOU HOSPITALIZED AT THE MERE MENTION OF SUICIDAL IDEATION. 

If you say, “I’m going to kill myself tonight by overdose,” then yes, they are required by law to have you hospitalized. Otherwise it is THEIR JOB to help you process your feelings and find a way to help you function and feel better. 

I cannot be more emphatic about this. Therapists, by and large, are here to help, not to hospitalize. If you have health insurance, contact them today to find out about your mental health coverage. Go to your general care doctor and tell them how you’re feeling so that they can refer you to the right person. If you don’t have health insurance, find a resource for a free/reduced fee clinic near you. Marriage and Family Therapist Interns are a great option, as they often see clients on a sliding fee scale. PLEASE GET HELP.

LISTEN TO ME: YOU CANNOT LEGALLY BE HOSPITALIZED AGAINST YOUR WILL FOR SUICIDAL IDEATION. FEAR OF HOSPITALIZATION SHOULD NOT STOP YOU FROM SEEKING HELP. 

I understand that many people have hospital related trauma, and I understand, and sympathize. Talk to me. Send me a message. I will be happy to find you further information on laws and regulations in your area, referrals to other counseling centers, or even just listen to what you have to say. 

I couldn’t in good conscience scroll past this without saying something. As someone who struggled with depression for much longer than I should have because of fear of seeking treatment, I want to encourage everyone, experiencing any degree of mental illness to get help. I will do anything I can to support those of you going through something like this. I’m here for you. 

I literally talk to my therapist about suicidal ideation all the time and all she’s ever done is have me clarify that I wasn’t planning on acting on it. I’m tired of tumblr discouraging people from trusting mental health professionals.

wheelietrash:

solx5:

westafricanbaby:

hi-imkingdavid:

thefallen-king:

azariathegoat:

mrsolodolo24:

17mul:

that-bi-guy:

ghostsisreal:

mega-purplezebracorn:

kinghispaniola:

nopos-tacabron:

thetrippytrip:

I’m with this movement!  

me

Salute to this movement

This is so important!

Everybody needs to value eachother!!! Yes!!!! I love this!!!!

Can’t tell you how many times I’ve been coerced into sex because some girl decided that she wanted it, and when I say no she turns it into some kind of criticism of her. Or I’m cheating. Or I’m actually gay. Or she starts groping me and playing with me trying to “get me in the mood”. Or she just won’t take no for an answer. After many years of this you know what I’m left with? Low self esteem, constant bad sex, depression, having all sex now feel like a chore, being terrified that if I have sex with someone I actually *like* then it won’t work out, and the feeling like I CAN’T say NO.

Ladies, “No means No” isn’t just for guys. Some of us have grasped the concept. Time for you to do so as well.

I support this movement 100%

I’m here for this I’m tired of these double standards

The move

🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

Mannnnn I had this conversation with this girl like the other week

I’m here for this!!! AND STOP CALLING MEN GAY OR “SUSPECT” BECAUSE THEY AREN’T SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO YOU OR THEY AREN’T IN THE MOOD TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU‼️

^^^^

I agree!!! I personally knew a girl in high school like this!