I don’t think most cis guys understand what a period is. It isn’t a steady trickle of blood, like if you get a cut on accident. It’s chunks and strings of bloody paste that’s so thick sometimes that it’s black, and the smell is really strong like carnage, and God forbid you have pubic hair cause you have to take ten showers to get it all out.
do actors get boners while making sex scenes this is one of the things i’ve wondered my whole life
Idk if you actually care for the answer, but they have to put their dicks in little sleeves that attach to the leg so if they get a boner it just get held down.
that sounds like a garment that should be sold everywhere and considered polite if not mandatory to wear, like bras
I survived an abusive relationship. At this point I have talked to and worked with hundreds of people in abusive relationships.
Guess what? telling us to leave never works.
ever.
I could write a post about ways to help people leave.
I’ll probably do that one day.
but don’t be that person in the mean time.
This is real quick off the cuff but:
AN ABBREVIATED GUIDE TO ‘holy shit my friend is in an abusive relationshit what do I do’
1. Don’t start shit with the abuser. Your friend? Will pay for it.
I once had a friend slap my abuser.
I am not going to tell you the price I paid b/c I’ve already puked once today and I would like to not do it again.
I once threatened a friend’s abuser.
I almost lost that friend over it.
Don’t do the thing.
2. Understand that the abuser is going to be isolating them.
They may be telling your friend how terrible you are. Any slight- no matter how small will be played up into a big thing. and even if the friend doesn’t hold it against you- it will probably effect how much they reach out to you.
Abusers like to tell their marks things like ‘Oh? A missed your call. Its because they hate you and think you complain too much’
The best way I can tell you to combat that- is just… don’t hold it against them. If they withdraw, don’t be that person like ‘well if you really cared about me you’d have fought for me’
The people who helped the most were those that I felt like.. I could go weeks without talking to and then they’d still listen if I got the courage to come back around.
If you can- work with them to try and schedule things so that they can have support without their abuser getting suspicious. School projects, open places. shit like that.
3. Don’t argue with them that shit is abusive.
Don’t be that person. It will make them feel unsafe with you.
The friends who argued were friends I lost. They were the ones it was easiest for him to make go. Cause here’s the thing… people view isolating as an abuser saying ‘you can’t talk to them!’ and a lot of times its not that.. its an abuser sitting down and saying in a real quiet voice ‘you two argue a lot, and they aren’t respecting you. But I’ll always be here for you okay?’
The most you can do is say “hey.. you know you deserve better than that right?” and if they argue go “I’m not going to argue with you. I don’t want to upset you.
4. If they ask for resources, help them get them.
Don’t offer them unless asked or it will turn into a fight and see above.
5. If they say they’re out of options- help them brain storm ones.
here’s an easy opening to ask if it’s okay to help them find resources.
don’t shove.
6. Be nice to them. consistently.
Too many people were too busy trying to convince me that he was a bad guy- that spending time with them just hurt…
and at least when I was with him it only hurt some of the time.
I got out because I had 4-5 good friends who I had good times with and I finally…. there was the light of ‘oh god this is what healthy relationships feel like. ‘
7. Don’t shove. Don’t pressure.
You can say “I’ll be here for you when you’re ready to leave”
You can remind them of this occasionally.
But don’t be a coercive dick.
Don’t be gross.
Don’t hurt people being abused.
That should not be that hard of a lesson.
Don’t say victim blaming shit to convince them to leave.,
i mean, maybe this is my inner “survivor of child abuse” talking, but I am not going to tell abusive parents that they’re bad at bringing up their children without a bullet proof plan with regards to how I could protect my student from the emotional and physical backlash of that meeting.
Important thing to remember about intervening in abuse in general. Any actions taken by others to hold the abuser accountable WILL be taken out on the victim and not the person doing the confronting. Do not confront an abuser about their actions unless you know for absolute certain that you can protect their victim from the fallout.
SHINEE’s Jonghyun left us at 28. SHAWOLS deserve a warm hug from every fandom right now.
You all know how we feel sad when our artist has the smallest bruise on their body or do not tweet for 2 days and we start missing them … imagine losing the one who gave you some hope and joy in life forever.
Shawols, dear Shawols. beautiful Shawols who are as blue and impressive as the vast sea. As a BTS’ ARMY, I will stand by you. And as a human, I will cry with you. Even if you grieve, be proud you followed that man. I am another group’s fan but I knew all along how He was very respected, talented and loved. He also took care of BTS along with the other Shinee members. They are great and loving seniors.
He may have left this world but every artist who touches hearts lives forever. So bear him warmly is your core. And draw him smiling and happy in your memory.
Shinee is a gem that needs to keep on shining like it always did. It’s at this time that you will need to stand by them the most. Stay strong and united.
My deepest condolences go to his family, friends, fans, and Korea as a whole that just lost one of its immeasurable voices and souls. Rest in piece Jonghyun. You were so beaming, it will never dim.
pain-lies-inside 