Every time we fuck things up, every time we binge and purge, every time we over exercise, every time we complete a fast, every time we hit our weight goal…
there is no one to share this with, in real life. no one can listen to our vent, no one to cry with, no one to support us.
don’t terminate our accounts. we know we are fucked up, okay? but we feel safe here. we know each other and we are like a family. please don’t take it away from us.
tbh i just want someone i can talk to naturally like straight up best friends skip the polite shit
it would be cool if u were abt 5 ft and if u liked b99 and queer eye and john mulaney lolol
☉70 day diet: day one
Date: 11/07/18
Sw: 53.9kg Cw: 53.3kg
❗Limit: 500❗
☉Breakfast: 0
Skipped
☉Lunch: 0
Skipped
☉Snack: 84
Two arnotts cheds biscuits = 80
One cherry = 4
☉Dinner: 305
One bubble n squeak = 172
100g crinkle cut chips = 131
Salt = 2
☉Total: 389
Changing plan☉
So I’m changing plan, surprise surprise. It’s working but I want to follow a diet plan, it’ll help keep me on track better and spice things up a bit. So I’m following @diaryofananorexic 70 day plan. I started today (11/07/18)
Btw: I’ll still upload the food log at night and my cw in the morning
do you ever just want to talk to someone about your problems? you lie in bed at night and find yourself crying and crying and wanting to talk to someone. you want to spill your guts out about every single thing you’re struggling with and have them comfort you, and tell you it’ll be alright because youre strong. you want someone to finally listen to you and understand your pain.
but at the same time, you don’t want to. you’re afraid, you’re scared, you’re nervous. you don’t want to deal with any judgement. you dont want to deal with the aftermath. you dont want them knowing about the dumb things you can’t control forever. they’ll act as if you’re this weak thing to pity. they’ll never let you go about it. it’ll always stay on their mind. and it’s just so conflicting because it’ll be the same thing every single night, over and over again, like clockwork. and it just won’t stop.
“Oh yeah, every time that dad forgets mom is dead, we head to the cemetery so he can see her gravestone.”
WHAT. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard some version of this awful story. Stop taking people with dementia to the cemetery. Seriously. I cringe every single time someone tells me about their “plan” to remind a loved one that their loved one is dead.
I also hear this a lot: “I keep reminding mom that her sister is dead, and sometimes she recalls it once I’ve said it.” That’s still not a good thing. Why are we trying to force people to remember that their loved ones have passed away?
If your loved one with dementia has lost track of their timeline, and forgotten that a loved one is dead, don’t remind them. What’s the point of reintroducing that kind of pain? Here’s the thing: they will forget again, and they will ask again. You’re never, ever, ever, going to “convince” them of something permanently.
Instead, do this:
“Dad, where do you think mom is?”
When he tells you the answer, repeat that answer to him and assert that it sounds correct. For example, if he says, “I think mom is at work,” say, “Yes, that sounds right, I think she must be at work.” If he says, “I think she passed away,” say, “Yes, she passed away.”
People like the answer that they gave you. Also, it takes you off the hook to “come up with something” that satisfies them. Then, twenty minutes later, when they ask where mom is, repeat what they originally told you.
I support this sentiment. Repeatedly reminding someone with faulty memory that a loved one has died isn’t a kindness, it’s a cruelty. They have to relieve the loss every time, even if they don’t remember the grief 15 minutes later.
In other words, don’t try to impose your timeline on them in order to make yourself feel better. Correcting an afflicted dementia patient will not cure them. They won’t magically return to your ‘real world’. No matter how much you might want them to.
It’s a kindness of old age, forgetting. Life can be very painful. Don’t be the one ripping off the bandage every single time.
I used to work as a companion in a nursing home where one of the patients was CONVINCED I was her sister, who’d died 40 years earlier. And every time one of the nurses said “that’s not Janet, Janet is dead, Alice, remember?” Alice would start sobbing.
So finally one day Alice did the whole “JANET IS HERE” and this nurse rather nastily went “Janet is dead” and before it could go any further I said “excuse me??? How dare you say something so horrible to my sister?”
The nurse was pissed, because I was “feeding Alice’s delusions.” Alice didn’t have delusions. Alice had Alzheimer’s.
But I made sure it went into Alice’s chart that she responded positively to being allowed to believe I was Janet. And from that point forward, only my specific patient referred to me as “Nina” in front of Alice—everyone else called me Janet, and when Alice said my name wasn’t Nina I just said “oh, it’s a nickname, that’s all.” It kept her calm and happy and not sobbing every time she saw me.
It costs zero dollars (and maybe a little bit of fast thinking) to not be an asshole to someone with Alzheimer’s or dementia. Be kind.
pain-lies-inside 