“Lurking behind all these stories of malpractice and missed diagnosis, from fibromyalgia to broken birth control, is the grim specter of hysteria — a mental illness, diagnosed mainly among women, in which emotional distress was said to convert into physical symptoms. In practice, “hysteria” was a catchall diagnosis for any number of mental or physical ailments. But it embodied a belief that still informs medical practice today: Women could believe they had symptoms, and they could even think themselves into manifesting those symptoms, not because they were sick, but because they were women, with all the emotional fragility and gullibility that supposedly implied.
To this day, when women say they don’t feel well, our first instinct is to wonder if they’re being melodramatic or acting out for attention. And in a dispute between a woman and a medical practitioner about her own experience, the medical practitioner is still automatically assumed to be in the right — even when we have a mounting pile of evidence that this isn’t always true and that the assumption harms and even kills female patients.”
Too often. From the ER doctor who prescribed me sleeping pills for chest pain/lack of oxygen, to the doctor who recently suggested the pain in my foot was stress and not the sliver visibly stuck under the skin.
And while many doctors don’t diagnose it as “hysteria” anymore, the term you need to watch out for is “conversion disorder” which is basically just the new terminology for hysteria, and is a catchall phrase for “we think you’re making this up so we’re not going to help you” and is actually what a lot of women are misdiagnosed as having, when they are actually developing MS (or other autoimmune dysfunctions). (source)
I’ve been so effectively gaslighted by the medical profession that this week when I started going into slow anaphylactic shock I dismissed it as “probably nothing” and tried to wait it out. The ER nurse was absolutely horrified. But the truth is I’ve been conditioned to believe I am “fine” and don’t need medical help. Even if and when my airways are closing, because I have been told in the past whilst having slow acting anaphylaxis, that it was “just nerves”.
The system is broken. Worse than that, it is currently designed to fail. And not enough is being done about it.
This is abuse. We need to start calling it what it is, and not just so those of us whose PTSD is triggered by it can ask for it to be tagged.
Have you ever loved someone so much that you would take your own life for them?
Your mom or dad?
Or your best friend?
Or your pet?
But then there’s a different kind of love..
The kind of love that you have for that special person standing at their locker right now…
Have you starved yourself to impress that person? Or forced yourself to throw up so much that you nearly fainted so that they could catch you and make sure you’re alright? Or eaten so much so that you finally get some curves and have a body to show off?
That must have hurt. That love hurt way more than any of those things. It’s what caused it all in the first place.
Love will drive you crazy.
But one day,
Possibly when you’ve finally reached your dream body,
The once existent love might fade.
And you will be left only with your eating habits that now control your life and will never be exactly right.
And the person who you once loved is gone.
They may have loved you back, but at the moment when they did, you were too blinded by food habits to even notice. So they left.
They still care.
They don’t act like they do.
But they do.
And they’re scared.
And you are too.
For nothing will be the same now.
Don’t risk losing everything for the one thing you don’t have.
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Does anyone else ever feel the need to self harm even when they aren’t that sad? Like it’s some chore you need to get done because you’re so used to it?
Use the vegan/vegetarian/lactose intolerant/etc. excuse.
Talk ALOT. Keep asking them questions to divert attention away from you.
Tell them you ate a large breakfast/lunch and you’re trying to make up for it by eating light.
If they ask if you’re starving yourself, laugh and deny the crap out of it. “You should’ve seen me inhaling those donuts last night. There’s NO WAY I’d be able to starve myself, of all people.”
Say you’re on a diet and how you’ve been failing it for the past 3 days. Make sure you complain about how hard it is.
Act like you’re OBSESSED with food. Talk about that one dish you’ve been craving from your favorite restaurant. Go into detail. Make them believe you love food more than life. (This one’s the most effective for me).
Post pictures of food (that you won’t be eating) on Snapchat.
Tell them you ordered a soup/salad because you’re broke and it’s the cheapest thing on the menu.
Pretend you’re fasting for religious reasons.
If they ask how you lost weight: smaller portions and no eating past 6.
When they ask, tell people you weigh 5 or 10 pounds more than your actual weight.
If you’re losing weight quickly, wear baggier clothes for a while so they think the weight loss happened gradually.
*obviously different excuses work with different people. These are just some things that work for me personally. As always, stay safe lovelies ❤️
1. We would miss you.
2. It’s not worth the regret. Either by yourself if you failed or just simply left scars, or the regret everyone else feels by not doing enough to help you.
3. It does get better. Believe it or not it will eventually get better. Sometimes you have to go through the storm to get to the rainbow.
4. There’s so much you would miss out on doing.
5. There is always a reason to live. It might not be clear right now, but it is always there.
6. So many people care, and it would hurt them if you hurt yourself.
7. You ARE worth it. Don’t let anyone, especially yourself, tell you otherwise.
8. You are amazing.
9. A time will come, once you’ve battled the toughest times of your life and are in ease once again, where you will be so glad that you decided to keep on living. You will emerge stronger from this all, and won’t regret your choice to carry on with life. Because things always get better.
10. What about all the things you’ve always wanted to do? What about the things you’ve planned, but never got around to doing? You can’t do them when you’re dead.
11. I love you. Even if only one person loves you, that’s still a reason to stay alive.
12. You won’t be able to listen to music if you die.
13. Killing yourself is never worth it. You’ll hurt both yourself and all the people you care about.
14. There are so many people that would miss you, including me.
15. You’re preventing a future generation, YOUR KIDS, from even being born.
16. How do you think your family would feel? Would it improve their lives if you died?
17. You’re gorgeous, amazing, and to someone you are perfect.
18. Think about your favourite music artist, you’ll never hear their voice again…
19. You’ll never have the feeling of walking into a warm building on a cold day
20. Listening to incredibly loud music
21. Being alive is just really good.
22. Not being alive is really bad.
23. Finding your soulmate.
24. Red pandas
25. Going to diners at three in the morning.
26. Really soft pillows.
27. Eating pizza in New York City.
28. Proving people wrong with your success.
29. Watching the jerks that doubted you fail at life.
30. Seeing someone trip over a garbage can.
31. Being able to help other people.
32. Bonfires.
33. Sitting on rooftops.
34. Seeing every single country in the world.
35. Going on roadtrips.
36. You might win the lottery someday.
37. Listening to music on a record player.
38. Going to the top of the Eiffel Tower.
39. Taking really cool pictures.
40. Literally meeting thousands of new people.
41. Hearing crazy stories.
42. Telling crazy stories.
43. Eating ice cream on a hot day.
44. More Harry Potter books could come out, you never know.
45. Travelling to another planet someday.
46. Having an underwater house.
47. Randomly running into your hero on the street.
48. Having your own room at a fancy hotel.
49. Trampolines.
50. Think about your favourite movie, you’ll never watch it again.
51. Think about the feeling of laughing out loud in a public place because your best friend has just sent you an inside joke,
52. Your survival will make the world better, even if it’s for just one person or 20 or 100 or more.
53. People do care.
54. Treehouses
55. Hanging out with your soul mate in a treehouse
55. Snorting when you laugh and not caring who sees
56. I don’t even know you and I love you.
57. I don’t even know you and I care about you.
58. Because nobody is going to be like you ever, so embrace your uniqueness!
59. You won’t be here to experience the first cat world emperor.
60. WHAT ABOUT FOOD?! YOU’LL MISS CHOCOLATE AND ALL THE OTHER NOM THINGS!
61. Starbucks.
62. Hugs.
63. Stargazing.
64. You have a purpose, and it’s up to you to find out what it is.
65. You’ve changed somebody’s life.
66. Now you could change the world.
67. You will meet the person that’s perfect for you.
68. No matter how much or how little, you have your life ahead of you.
69. You have the chance to save somebody’s life.
70. If you end your life, you’re stopping yourself from achieving great things.
71. Making snow angels.
72. Making snowmen.
73. Snowball fights.
74. Life is what you make of it.
75. Everybody has a talent.
76. Laughing until you cry.
77. Having the ability to be sad means you have the ability to be happy.
78. The world would not be the same if you didn’t exist.
79. Its possible to turn frowns, upside down
80. Be yourself, don’t take anyone’s shit, and never let them take you alive.
81. Heroes are ordinary people who make themselves extraordinary. Be your own hero.
82. Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.
83. One day your smile will be real.
84. Having a really hot, relaxing bath after a stressful day.
85. Lying on grass and laughing at the clouds.
86. Getting completely smashed with your best friends.
87. Eating crazy food.
88. Staying up all night watching your favourite films with a loved one.
89. Sleeping in all day.
90. Creating something you’re proud of.
91. You can look back on yourself 70 years later and being proud you didn’t commit
92. Being able to meet your Internet friends.
93. Tea / Coffee / Hot Chocolate
94. Sherlock season three.
95. Cuddling under the stars.
96. Being stupid in public because you just can.
97. If you are reading this then you are alive! Is there any more reason to smile?
98. being able to hug that one person you havent seen in years
99. People care enough about you and your future to come up with 100 reasons for you not to do this.
100. But, the final and most important one is, just, being able to experience life. Because even if your life doesn’t seem so great right now, literally anything could happen
pain-lies-inside 