Trigger warning

I can’t stop thinking about what a friend said “horizontal for attention. Vertical for results”. I know she was joking, I know she’s not serious but for some reason I can’t help but think “am I attention seeking? I only cut horizontal” I know that’s not true but her words flash through my mind

skinnysativva:

Just ED things

  • Constant body checks
  • Body checking in store windows, any mirror you see, pretty much anything you can see a reflection in
  • Not knowing if you’re truly hungry or just bored
  • Bruising everywhere
  • Sore/clenched jaw
  • Standing up too quickly and seeing stars
  • Clogged drains due to hair loss, hair EVERYWHERE on your pillow, floor, brush, anywhere your head has been
  • Cold hands and feet
  • Dry skin
  • Purple nails and yellow teeth
  • Dark eye circles
  • “Okay so the label says 100 calories per five sticks, so I’ll only eat 3 sticks. So that’s 60 calories… I’ll round to 200 just to be safe.”
  • That “empty feeling”
  • Being too exhausted to get up
  • Being too exhausted to go to school
  • Just being exhausted in general
  • Zoning out A LOT
  • Forgetfulness
  • This bullshit, “wHY dOnt yOu JUsT EaT”
  • And this bullshit, “YoU dONt LoOK likE yOu HaVE aN eaTInG DiSOrder”
  • Fasting till the next day and waking up feeling heavier for some fucking reason
  • Gaining because of your period
  • “Am I hungry or do I just need to shit?”
  • Diet Coke and 100% cocoa chocolate
  • *refuses to eat a veggie because it’s 100 cals* 5 minutes later *binges on ice cream*
  • Nightmares about gaining weight
  • Shaky af hands
  • Wobbly knees
  • HEADACHES
  • Dissociation and not being able to focus
  • The anxiety of weighing in after a binge
  • Refusing to eat in public because of the anxiety

✖️ Feel free to add on 🙂 ✖️

Trigger warning🍃

It’s kinda weird being half suicidal ? (I dont know what to call it) Like I think about suicide and how/when I could do it. But the weird thing is, I don’t actually want to kms. Like, I do but I kinda just want to stop existing for a bit then maybe come back ? Honestly I have no idea anymore

May rules🍃

DISCLAIMER: I’M NOT PRO ANYTHING, THIS IS FOR ME ONLY. PLEASE SEEK HELP

🍃Never eat over 1000 cals, always aim for 600

🍃Lose at least 5kg

🍃Always drink LOTS of water

🍃Exercise at least 30 minutes a day; always do at least 50 sit ups

🍃Fast 3-5 times a week (Aim for Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Sundays)

🍃Always follow meal plans

🍃Never tell anyone about your problems (unless serious)

🍃Always hide your habits; never let anyone find out or suspect anything

🍃Have green tea when hungry; it may not taste nice but it curbs my appetite

🍃Never purge, no matter how much you want to

🍃Finish Ana book; remember to keep it well hidden

🍃Make sure food/tea stash is up to date and well hidden; move it around every week

Stay safe lovelies💓

idontwantto-die:

Fat.

You call us.

For every calorie we eat.

Skinny.

You praise us.

For every bone you see.

Damaged.

We tell you.

Damaged goods is what we are.

Perfect.

You convince us.

The end is nearly there.

Eat.

You scream.

Terrified for us.

Starve.

We hear.

Something we think is just.

Because the words you say, are not what we hear.

And what we say, will always fall on deaf ears.

sknny-minne:

Homemade Vanilla Ice Cream (0cals)

So, I decided to try this recipe today and it was pretty good, So I’m writing some tips for anyone who decides to make it :

1. The calories will depend on the brands you use. e.g. when I made it, it came out 36cals. Because I used both Stevia and Truvia.

2. It makes 1 cup of ice cream. But since mine had calories I ate only .5 a cup (otherwise it would’ve been 72cals.)

3. The less ice you use, the smoother. You can totally make it into a milkshake!

*Note : if you add more water.

4. Do not use very much vanilla. You may think it needs more, but it doesn’t. It’s not as great the more vanilla-y.

5. I totally recommend making this recipe! 10/10 would make again!

This is exactly why i dont tell people my problems. I am not a child, i understand my actions. I know things aren’t always “rosey”. I don’t want to be treated like a child in trouble. I understand the situation but i will shield myself first and for most; i will not be hurt